Sunday, August 26, 2007

1 of 12... Very Long Post

NOTE TO READER(S):

SKIP THIS IF YOUR ATTENTION SPAN IS LESS THAN THAT OF A GOLDFISH.

I'LL NEVER SAY WHICH PART IS TRUE AND WHICH PART IS NOT, BUT IF YOU KNOW ME, THEN YOU'LL RELATE TO WHAT'S WRITTEN BELOW.

SCARY ISN'T IT?

How to Recognize CANCER

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid. because I'm not myself, you see,"
"Oh, my fur and whiskersi" It is this, it is this that oppresses my soul.

The best time to hunt for human crabs is by the light of the silvery Moon. It's usually easier to recognize them at night, when they're all dressed up to go dreaming, wrapped in vivid imagination.

Moonlight becomes them beautifully. It goes with their many moods, and it matches their chang­ing emotions.

You'll gather lots of clues to the Cancerian nature by doing some Moon-gazing on a clear night in the country. It may be hard to see it through the smog in the city, but you can always study an almanac.

Notice the Moon's changing shape and appearance. As it waxes and increases in light, it slowly grows into a perfect, round ball in the sky. When it wanes, it gradually disappears, so there's nothing visible but a thin sliver of light with a faint, silver shimmer.

The Cancerian's passing moods are synchronized to the Moon, answering to the same mysterious lunar influence that causes the tides of the ocean to flow in and out.

Yet, the Moon doesn't really change at all. It just seems to. Likewise, the Cancerian remains the same person through all his fluctuating highs and lows. Such dependable peri­odicity-constant in its inconstancy-makes the crab easy to recognize, once you know the phase he's in when you see him.

You may first come across him when he's laughing the "crazy lunar laugh." It's inescapably contagious. It runs up and down the scales with a deep, throaty undertone. It giggles and gurgles, then finally erupts in a loud cackle that sounds exactly like two hundred hens laying two hundred perfect eggs.

In his life-of-the-party mood, you'll have no trouble finding the Cancerian. He'll be the funniest one in the room, a laugh a minute. If he's not performing himself, then he'll be grinning at someone else's antics.

No one likes a joke better than Cancer, and his funny side is all the more startling when it pops up so incongruously from his normally quiet, gentle personality. Lunar humor runs deep. It's never shallow or superficial, because it stems from the sensitive observation of human behavior.

Cancer may not wear his lunar laugh every day, but he can always dig it out of his old trunk in the basement at a moment's notice.

These people don't pant after the spotlight like the extroverted Leos or clownish Sagittarians, but Cancerians have an uncanny sense of publicity, when it pleases them to be noticed. Don't let that unassuming manner fool you. They secretly enjoy attention, and they'll soak up any headlines they get. You won't find Cancer pursuing fame with pas­sion (he pursues nothing with true passion), but he cer­tainly won't shrink from it. He's far more likely to bask in the reflected glow of applause than to run away.

Cancer may hide from things, but you can be sure that apprecia­tion is not one of them.

If you're the kind of person who catches cold easily, wear your raincoat when you expose yourself to the damp­ness of a Cancerian in a melancholy mood. He can wrap you in wet blankets until you shiver and shake.

Cancer can turn bluer than an inkwell, and drown you in depression deeper than the floor of the ocean. His fears are usually well covered by the nutty lunar humor, but they are always with him, haunting his days and nights with a vague sense of nameless dangers, lurking in the shadows.

Pessimism is never far away, always ready to spoil those beautiful nights of fancy. A Cancerian can take the dreamiest trips to the stars on the gossamer wings of his imagination, if he leams to ignore that harping inner voice which keeps nagging him and warning him he might get lost in outer space. But until he leams to conquer his fears, they form his Achilles' heel, and they hurt every time he starts to fly too high.

His tears are never crocodile tears. They flow from the deep rivers of his fragile and vulnerable heart. You can wound his sensitive feelings with a harsh glance or a rough tone of voice. Cruelty can bring on brimming eyes or a 'complete withdrawal (It's an odd thing that Cancerians seldom get fevers; they're more likely to suffer from the chills.)

It won't be easy to spot the crab in this mood, because when he's hurt, he disappears into reproachful silence. Sometimes, he can retaliate with an almost scorpion revenge, but he'll usually do it secretly, seldom openly with the Scorpio's fine contempt for consequences.

Most of the time, however, he'll turn away from getting even, content to hide under his protective shell.

Once you've wounded him, you can poke at him with a sharp stick for days afterwards and not reach him. He won't answer his phone, his doorbell or his mail. In the midst of uncertainty, despair and sadness.

Cancer people seek retreat and solitude. Just like real crabs.

That's another mood Cancerians have. Crabby. The person who gave you a cranky answer when you asked for the time, the one who nearly snapped your head off when you asked him to pass the salt-was probably a Cancer person going through one of his occasional crabby spells that makes him hate the world.

He's not angry with you. He's disappointed with life. He'll get over it, and be his own sweet, gentle and understanding self when the Moon changes. Consult the daily paper for the next quarter, or wait until the tides come back in.

There are two basic Cancer types. The first kind has a handsome round face, soft skin, a wide, grinning mouth, almost circular eyes, rather a baby-faced look. Think of the man in the moon. That's a perfect image.

The second type is more common. The unmistakable "look of the crab" is immediately noticeable in the face. You'll see a fairly large skull, an overhanging brow and high cheek­bones. The brows themselves will seem to knit together in a sort of permanent frown which, strangely, isn't offensive, but rather interesting. There's a pronounced lower jaw, and the teeth are either prominent or irregular in some way. The eyes are small and usually far apart. Sometimes you'll see a Cancerian who combines both the lunar face and the crab face but each is so distinctive that, even when they're blended, it's easy to recognize them as Moon people, born under the sign of the crab.

Some of them are indisputably plump, but the great majority have a strikingly bony structure. The arms and legs may be extra long in propor­tion to the rest of the body. The shoulders will be broader than average, and often the hands and feet are either unusually tiny or quite large.

Most Cancerians are a little top heavy, and they waddle slightly when they walk fast. Whether the body is plump or wiry, the women will usually wear a sweater size considerably larger than the skirt size. Or they'll be absolutely flat-chested. Either way, this par­ticular characteristic is quite marked. There is never a middle ground for this part of the anatomy with female crabs.

All lunar people have enormously expressive features. A thousand moods play fleetingly across their faces in the course of a conversation. Do you know someone who some­times cackles wildly, then weeps despondently,-who occa­sionally snaps at you irritably, and then hides when you hurt him? Does he normally treat you with gentle con­sideration? If he's gruff, yet kindly, a fascinating conversa­tionalist with deep wells of creative imagination, that person was probably born in late June or July.

Caneerians have such control of imagery, and their moods are so intense, they can make you feel them, too. Their imagination seizes joy and despair, horror and com­passion, sorrow and ecstasy, and holds each emotion fast with a retentive memory.

Like mirrors and cameras, they absorb images and reflect them faithfully. Every experience is engraved on the heart as a photograph is etched on a negative plate. They never forget any of the lessons life has taught them nor do they forget the lessons history has taught mankind. A Cancerian reveres the past and is usually patriotic to the core. Historical figures intrigue him as much as his own ancestors do. He often collects antiques, old treasures and ancient relics and has an insatiable curiosity about yesterday.

Cancer is a sort of mental archaeologist, always digging for more fascinating facts.

He's also a well of secrecy. People automatically confide their secrets to the crab, but with his sensitive emotions he already knows what's on their minds.

Cancerian compas­sion is deep and highly intuitive. There's hardly a secret he can't strip naked, if he chooses. It's a one-way street, however. He'll eventually soak up all there is to know about you, but you'll never guess his own private thoughts. He guards his inner feelings carefully from prying eyes.

The typical Cancer person doesn't like to discuss his per­sonal life, but he's delighted to hear about yours, as his lunar imagination lets him easily guess the parts you leave out.

Cancer seldom judges, however. He simply gathers, absorbs, reflects.

Although the crab gives back emotions like a mirror, he won't give up tangible things without a struggle. Take a stroll along any beach and observe the habits of the real crab. When he grabs an object (and make sure it's not your big toe), he'll hang on for dear life. He'd rather lose a claw than let go. If the crab does sacrifice a claw, he grows a new one, so he can grab hold once more with the same tenacity; and let that be a lesson to you when you're trying to get a Cancerian to give up something he or she really wants.

Cancer will never relinquish a treasured object, and that can range all the way from a beloved friend or relative to a title or a position-from an old tintype photo to a pair of frazzled house slippers, with the soles half worn away.

While you're still on the beach, take a few more notes on the customs of the real crab. The way he walks, for instance. If his eye is on that big toe, he'll never come forth directly and head for your foot.

First, he moves backward a few paces. Then he moves sideways. Suddenly, without warning, he crawls to the other side. He always appears to be moving in the opposite direction. But he's watching every second. If that delicious toe starts to get away from him, he'll move straight forward, and you'd better run if you don't want those claws to dig in. He means business when he sees he has a chance of losing the morsel he covets.

The human crab imitates these tactics precisely. Cancerians never go directly after what they want. Their strategy is to move in every direction but straight ahead. They'll play this shifting game indefinitely, until it looks as if someone else is about to grab the prize. Then the cards are played quickly and cleverly-Cancer lunges forward, takes hold firmly, and refuses to let go.

They behave much the same way when it comes to generosity and giving. Cancer's heart is too soft not to be touched by someone's need. He truly cares and he wants to help. But he'll sit back cautiously and wait to see if. there's anyone else who might move in first.

Why should he foolishly squander his time or money if it is not necessary? When all other sources fail, when no other help shows any sign of materializing.

Cancer will rescue the struggler at the last minute. He'll let you go down twice, but he'll save you just before you submerge the third time. He's too kind to watch you drown, but he's certainly not going to get all wet if there's a life guard around, or if it looks as if you can swim to shore yourself. It's self-preservation, not self­ishness or unkindness.

The crab's heart is soft at the core, under his hard, conservative outer shell. But there's just so much of his time, his money and his emotions he has to give, and he chooses to distribute each wisely. His even­tual gesture will often be grand and generous. Yet, in his mind, it's only sensible to watch and wait before plunging. No one could accuse him of being impulsive.

When he does make a move, he'll want some sort of track record behind him-or behind you. The crab care­fully calculates his actions on experiences, either his own or someone else's. He needs the strength of an accepted precedent or the assurance of financial security as a foun­dation. He fears going it alone without such an insurance policy, which is why most of his ventures are successful and each final move a coup de grace, executed with finesse.

Naturally, Cancerians will seldom stumble into deep holes in the dark. With a fiery Moon sign, or a fire sign on the ascendant, he may gamble on an occasional maneuver, but if he fails, he'll be miserable about going against his own better inner judgment. Leo or Sagittarius influences may have driven him to act, but when he falls back on his own Sun sign after defeat, misery sets in. Cancer tends to brood over mistakes instead of shrugging off bad luck and trying again, and it will be some time before he takes another chance.

Male or female, the Cancerian loves his home with a respect bordering on reverence. No devout high priest of ancient times ever considered his altar more sacred than Cancer considers the place where he hangs his old hat. You're liable to notice a sampler on his wall with the words, "There's No Place Like Home, Be It Ever So Humble." (Yes, I know the verse is backwards, but his little girl made it at school, and to him it's a masterpiece, a pearl beyond price. Admire it often.) His home is where he plays, lives, loves, dreams and feels safe. Though he may travel over half the earth in connection with his career, no Cancer person is ever quite happy without a hearth to call his own.

Sometime make a point of noticing the expression on the face of a crab who has just returned home from a long trip. Pure ecstasy.

No matter how much money he piles up in reserve, Cancer never feels really secure, and no matter how much love he gets, he always needs more. His emotions never let him become sure enough to relax completely. He's always piling up tangibles against some imaginary future disaster.

Some Cancerians actually keep big cardboard cartons of food of all kinds under their beds. It keeps away those nightmares. You may think that's stretching the truth, but when was the last time you looked under a Cancer's bed? If you don't find the canned foods there, look on the closet shelves. You may find two dozen cans of paprika and twenty-eight boxes of fortified bread crumbs he bought on sale in 1943. What's he saving it for? Don't ask ridicu­lous questions. There might be a famine someday. He's prepared. (Noah must have been born in July. The flood didn't catch him with his rudders down, either.) Why doesn't he use all that paprika and all those bread crumbs?

The answer to that one raises another question. Why doesn't he use those fourteen pairs of new pajamas and the seven dozen cashmere scarves he's been given over the years as gifts? They're still in the original tissue paper. Who knows? Maybe he's planning to wrap them around the animals to keep them warm when the next flood comes. Could be. He thinks that far ahead, and he remembers yesterday's catastrophes vividly, even if he wasn't there.

You'll often find the Cancerian on the water. If he's not swimming, he's water-skiing or at the very least, wad­ing. Unless there's some definite planetary affliction in his natal chart that makes him fear the waves, he'll usually be found spending most of his leisure time on a beach. Lots of Cancer people own their own boats. He'd much rather have a trim little ship he can escape to than a dozen color television sets and fifty limousines. Some crabs have fabu­lous yachts, but even if it's a rowboat or a canoe, he'll blissfully row, paddle or steer it to happiness. It's as though the Cancerian has a special, private dream that's been lost out there somewhere in the deep waters, and he keeps seeking it.

Over half the crabs you meet will be weekend sailors. Maybe it's the moon and the tides calling him. Whatever it is, he's never as moody when he's happily walking his own deck in the tennis shoes he bought when he graduated from college. (Don't ever suggest that he buy new ones.

There's one thing you have to understand about these people. If it's old, it has value. If it's new, it's suspect.)

Cancerian emotions can be stronger than the physical body. Worry and apprehension can make him ill, and cheerfulness can make him well. Often, he fears financial * collapse or the loss of someone he needs emotionally. If his security is threatened, either at the bank or in his heart, he can fall into a depression which unconsciously courts sickness or accident. His active imagination can be morbid enough to turn a minor illness into a grave or chronic one.

When he gets gloomy, he responds poorly to positive statements. Then he's apt to think you're unkind for not sympathizing with him. But sympathy is the last thing Cancer needs when he's sick, never mind what he says. If he grows melancholy about fearsome possibilities, he invites real trouble, and he'll take twice as long to get well.

The most vulnerable areas are the chest or breast region, the knees, kidneys, bladder and skin. The head and face areas are also sensitive, as are the stomach and the digestive system.

Cancerians practically invented ulcers. But those who keep serene, and who call on their marvelous sense of humor to see them through their moods, can easily stay well until a ripe old age. If they get a firm grip on happi­ness and refuse to let go, the crabs have the power to cling to life with the same tenacity that they cling to those old newspapers and pot holders.

Cheerfulness, optimism and laughter, taken daily in large doses, will keep their minds and bodies healthy. As Cancer imagines himself to feel, so shall he actually feel. No other sign is so prone to let negative thoughts bring on illness, yet no other sign can create such miracles of self-healing. It's a strange contra­diction, and it would immensely benefit all Cancerians to ponder it.

Lots of Cancer people have very green thumbs. They produce some beautiful gardens that are tended and watered with loving care.

Most of them also have very green savings accounts, which they cultivate with the same devotion. Money clings to Cancer, and they like the feel of it, so they allow it to cling. They spend frugally, to say the very least. Even with impulsive influences in the natal chart, Cancer will keep a few dry bills aside for a rainy day. If he tells you he's broke, he means he's down to his last few thousand. To him, that's a desperate situation.

No one is a more capable manager of funds than the crab (although Taurus, Capricorn or Virgo may run a close second). He's an expert at accumulating cash and making it grow like the trees and flowers he plants. It will seldom dwindle in his tenacious hands or run through his shrewd fingers, and you won't catch him tossing bundles of it out the window for the sheer joy of getting rid of it. His generosity is exceeded only by his caution. Cancerian John D. Rocke­feller, Sr. probably thought he was being wickedly extrava­gant when he handed out all those dimes to small children;

it tickled him to go on such a wild spending spree and teach economy at the same time. Still, the crab will share whatever he has willingly when someone he likes or loves is in real need. A child will never fail to move him to part with cash, but he'll come down hard on a grocer who over­charges him two cents on a can of beans.

Food somehow represents security to Cancerians. If Old Mother Hubbard had been born in July, she would never have recovered from finding the cupboard bare. Whether he actually eats it or not, the crab feels safer when the larder is full and overflowing.

Just talking about food brings a rosy glow to his expressive face, and stories of starvation will actually horrify him. Cancerians care deeply about the hungry, and they feel a responsibility toward every empty stomach in the world. (The noted mathematician-astrologer Carl Payne Tobey has pointed out that Cancerian Nelson Rockefeller campaigned in supermarkets with the political slogan, "He Cares.") Wasting food is a crime to Cancer.

You'll get all the second helpings you want, but be sure you clean up the plate.

There's a strong maternal instinct in both sexes. They're always trying to stuff hot food into you, or bundle you up against the damp, night air. Cancerians baby their friends and loved ones and hover over them protectively. It's hard to tell which stirs the lunar emotions more deeply-chil­dren, food or money.

The crab's sensitive nature is covered with a hard shell, and he's wise enough to avoid the stormy seas. Half the time he lives on dry land, the other half in deep waters. He wears the luminous, pale gold and shimmering colors of moonlight, and hides his powerful emotions behind the pale green, mauve and lavender tints of modesty.

There's a touch of Moon madness in every Cancerian.

He knows a wild and secret place where two lilies and seven white roses grow among the iris. Sometimes the memory of this faraway garden causes him to explode with laughter. Now and then it causes him to weep with sadness.

Cancer patiently gathers the emeralds, pearls and moon-stones carelessly dropped in the sand by others, as he waits for the tides to wash his silver dreams ashore.

Famous Cancer Personalities

John Quincy Adams Louis Armstrong Ingmar Bergman Milton Berle Julius Caesar James Cagney Marc Chagall Jean Cocteau George M. Cohan Calvin Coolidge. Phyllis DiUer Stephen Foster John Glenn Oscar Hammerstein Ernest Hemingway Henry VIII

Helen Keller Charles Laughton Gertrude Lawrence Anne Lindbergh Gina Lollobrigida Marcel Proust Rembrandt

John D. Rockefeller Nelson Rockefeller Richard Rodgera Red Skelton Barbara Stanwyck Ringo Starr Henry D. Thoreau John Wanamaker Duke of Windsor

Andrew Wyeth


The CANCER Man

"I sometimes dig for butter rolls, Or set limed twigs for crabs:

I sometimes search the grassy knolls For wheels of Hansom-cabs:

And that's the way," (he gave a wink) "By which I get my wealth-

And very gladly will I drink Your Honor's noble health."


A taciturn expert at circumlocution he is. A scatterbrain and a chatterbox he is not. Don't expect this man to bare his soul when he first meets you.

Cancerians never confide in strangers, and there are certain things even their best friends don't know.

It will take a long time and a fair amount of patience to really know him. If you catch him in one of his cantankerous moods, you may not be very anxious to really know him, but try again. Don't give up so easily.

He can be flirtatious and fickle, but he can also be sensi­tive and loyal. Without warning, that wrinkled frown can be replaced by a gentle smile.

His crabby complaints aad gruff manner can warm slowly into a tender tone, just before he breaks into a deep chuckle, a muffled giggle or loud, hysterical lunar laughter.

When he's sad and wistful, you'll want to put your arms around him, and soothe away his melancholy. When he's showing off his sharp, intuitive mind, you'll stare at him in awe.

His caution will impress you. His pessimism will depress you.

He can be so courtly, courteous, and considerate, you half expect him to ask you to dance the Virginia Reel. There's no question that he's a romantic dreamer, yet he's so sensible and practical, his enemies may call him "Old Marble Nose" behind his back. What do you do with a man like this?

You try to understand him. These aren't changes of per­sonality. They're simply lunar moods, moving across his consciousness, here today-gone tomorrow.

Both during and between each mood, the Cancer man is true to him­self. His nature never deviates from its basic mold, despite the changes of expression that play on his features.

Always try to remember that although a Cancerian's manner can be rough and aloof, his heart is always soft and affection­ate, and so full of sentiment it often makes him feel too vulnerable. Then he crawls into his convenient shell (the one he carries with him at all times), safe for a while from his own emotions.

You'll think he's a real crab and give up when he retreats into injured silence. But the next time he cautiously peeks out to see the sunshine, you'll be tempted all over again to get close to him.

Unfortunately, a Cancer male can be a regular wet dishrag now and then, disparaging everything and everybody, and splashing gloom in big, blue drops all over your ego. Yet, at other times he can be as funny as an orangutan with the hiccups.

No wonder you don't know whether to give him a cold shoulder or a warm hug.

The temperature changes of a Cancerian could puzzle anyone. First you shiver under his freezing glances, then you get smothered with devotion. His moods are the meanest when he's the most afraid of losing something. Maybe it's you. Reassure him you're his a thousand and one times. Words of love are music to his ears.

Of course, he may wade into one of his loony spells right in the middle of a tender scene some night under a full Moon. Just when you're drifting away on lovely dreams, he may offer to tell you his favorite poem. You'll sigh, lean back on his shoulder and close your eyes. Then he'll cackle something like, "The stag at Eve had drunk his fill-where danced the Moon on Monan's rill. He blew his nose and shined his shoes-and took a swig of Mountain booze!" It may jolt you out of your magic spell, but that full Moon can do strange things to the lunar emotions.

What I mean is, he can be as nutty as a cuckoo, even if he is smart enough to make a million dollars and keep it.

I'm glad we brought up money. You will be too. If you're the kind of girl who likes to pay the rent on time, you're in love with exactly the right man. He's almost as fond of security as he is of you. You may have a slight edge, but you can safely consider money your worst rival. He's going to pursue it with dedication and a sort of quiet, religious fervor for most of his days. (The nights may bring other things to pursue.) It's not the worst fate you could ex­perience.

Finances have fascinated him since childhood, and saving will be substantially more attractive to him than spending. He's not exactly stingy, but let's say it's not likely you'll ever see him lighting his pipe with a dollar bill for a parlor trick. The Cancerian sense of humor seldom takes in the topic of cold, hard cash.

Money is not a laughing matter to the crab.

He could probably add a column of figures in his head before he learned the alphabet, and had a paper route when he was eleven. Don't be surprised if you find he still has his first piggy bank, unopened. The tinkle of silver and the rustle of fold­ing green paper soothe his nerves, but he won't brag about his Dun and Bradstreet rating.

Cancerians seldom collect cash for status. They collect it for its own sweet sake. In fact, he will probably belittle his financial wizardry. He's "just a poor boy, trying to earn a living, and getting along the best he can." You may even feel so sorry for him, you'll offer to get him a loan at the bank. Don't. He proba­bly owns part of it.

A fire sign on the ascendant may give him a rare ex­travagant urge, which he'll resist with admirable courage. Even if he gives in to an occasional spending spree to cheer himself out of a blue mood, it won't become a habit.

Before you start mumbling "tightwad" under your breath, you should know that the Cancer man has an interesting idta of economy. He'd rather take you out to the best restaurant, and get what he pays for, than risk offending his sensitive tastes with over-cooked lamb chops and in­different service in a second-rate place. He thinks it's silly to waste money on a cloth coat, when a mink or chinchilla will amortize itself over the years. A good, conservative Cadillac or Bentley is a safer investment, in his opinion, thqn a cheap car that depreciates as soon as you drive it around the comer.

Quality and thrift are synonymous to the Cancerian. There, I thought that would bring the sparkle back to your eyes.

Even the most poetic and dreamy Cancerians, who spend their lives immersed in music, art or other cultural pursuits, have a shrewd sense of the value of cash.

A lunar artist may paint in an attic, but you needn't send him any Care packages. There are probably some stocks and bonds hidden in the rafters. He won't donate his paintings, either. He'll sell them for a pretty price, if he's a professional. But they'll be worth it.

When a Cancer person tackles a career, he's sure to be at the top of it. He's loaded with artistic talent. You might suggest that your Cancer man design your Christmas cards. They're sure to be lovely, even if he's only an amateur.

If he's a true Cancerian, he won't be wild about sports clothes. There's a certain formality about his toilet. Whether he's worth billions or only a few paltry thousands, he likes conservative cuts and good tailoring.

He often leans- to colllar buttons (yes, they still sell them-to Cancerians), French cuffs and expensive shirts he gets wholesale, usually without monograms (too showy; he prefers to be incon­spicuous). Even when he's short of cash for a brief period whiile he's working on his first million, his shoes will be poliished and his socks will stay up.

During any shaky financial period (and it will be temporary), a Cancer male will somehow exude an air of genteel rich, or one who has known better days. If he hasn't, he will.

Fairly sub­stantial amounts of money will someday come to this man, or he'll be given the opportunity to earn large sums of it. He won't always be wealthy, but a Cancerian in the un-employment line is as rare as a pineapple tree in Siberia.

His secret motto is that "all play and no work gives Jack a skinny billfold," and he prefers his wallets pleasingly plump.

Let's hope you find his mother congenial. In fact, let's pray you do. It's fairly certain she'll pop up in his con­versation frequently, in remarks like, "My mother never wears much makeup, and she's a beautiful woman. Don't you think your eye shadow is a little heavy, sweetheart?" Or "You use frozen pies and instant potatoes? My mother used to bake her own bread when I was a youngster." This paragon of virtue is quite likely to pop up just as often in person, when you least expect it. "Darling, I have to cancel our date for the theater tonight. I'm driving Mother out to the country for a few days." To put it mildly, the Cancer man may be reluctant to dethrone Mama and crown you as his new queen. He's a terribly domesticated crab, for all his occasional stirrings of wanderlust, and if his mother made his home cozy, he'll be in no hurry to leave it. Cancerians are either very, very close to their mothers or completely alienated from them. The relationship is never casual. Those who don't revere the maternal parent are either adopted, or jealousy of the father's place in the mother's affection has caused an emotional block. Then there can be an unnatural coldness and isolation.

With the typical crab, however, the problem is far more likely to be closeness. There's no use hiding the facts of life. If you're in love with this more common type of Cancerian, you'll have to cultivate his mother, and you'll have to be her rival while you're showering her with compliments. It's not easy to cultivate and compete at the same time, but that's the strategy you'll need. Don't ever let her get the edge on cooking and homemaking. Let her teach you how to bake lemon chiffon pie. He'll like that -you two girls getting along so nicely. Then turn around and do a brilliant beef Stroganoff on your own. Be sure to spoil him at least as much as she does, and that may be a lot. He's probably grown accustomed to being considered the apple of her eye. Being fussed over, fed regularly, catered to, hovered over when he's sick, and tucked in bed tenderly at night can turn him into a mighty sweet crab. Cancer men will never admit it, but they love to be petted and babied by other people.

There are certain traits, however, which can even up the score in your relationship. For one, he'll be a pretty good chef himself. He may surprise you with his ability to whip up a gourmet meal.

When this man invites you to come up to his apartment for dinner, he's usually quite serious. Even if he asks you to look at his etchings, there may be no ulterior motive. The typical Cancerian male is a devotee of the finer things in life. In plain talk, he digs culture.

For all you know, he may actually own some rare etchings or at least a fabulous record collection. You're fairly safe in risking an unchaperoned trip to his rocky cave, because the typical lunar man is the soul of gallantry with women. He'll usually be a gentleman until you stop being a lady.

It's the way they did it in Grandma's day, and to him, those were the good old days. (That's proba­bly Grandma's photograph on the mantel.) Ask him about his family tree. He'll love to tell you.

Most Cancerians delight in their backgrounds and their blood lines.

He like old things, from Grandma herself to that Eighteenth Cen­tury fruitwood table he bought the first time he went to Europe.

If he asks to take your picture, don't grab your babushka and run. Photography is a common lunar hobby, and few Cancer males live their lives without at least one camera. Of course, he could have Venus in Scorpio or a Leo Moon, so maybe it would be more discreet to check his natal chart before you agree to anything. Whatever it is, just say, "I'd love to, dear, but do you mind if I call my astrologer first? I'll need your birthday." If he thinks you're jesting, you can straighten that out right away. Just tell him that J. P. Morgan seldom made a move in the stock market without consulting astrologer Evangeline Adams, who was the granddaughter and great-granddaughter of John Quincy Adams and John Adams. The combination of both history and money will open his eyes wide with interest.

The Cancer man may go for quite a spell without inviting you to see either his etchings or his fruitwood table. Al­though he may engage in light flirtations, it may be many years before he becomes seriously enamoured, because it isn't easy for him to find a woman he feels is worthy of his interest. When he finds her, he'll be beautifully senti­mental, and he'll lavish her with gifts and admiration. But his standards are high. Not every girl can meet them.

Most crabs are afraid of being burned, and not without cause. A mismatched alliance which would cause only a few sad weeks of readjustment for the average man can be a dis­aster to the crab. When something separates him from a partner he's allowed himself to get close to, he can carry a torch for many years.

He's naturally shy of rushing in, but once he's sure, he won't be easily rebuffed. Cancerians can play the role of the romantic lover artfully.

After he's declared himself, and has some hope of winning you, his timidity will switch to tenacity overnight, and you'll find yourself being courted by an earnest, determined man who won't take no as an answer for any proposal he has in mind. He's likely to stuff himself in your mailbox (figuratively, of course), camp on your doormat and monopolize your phone.

It's hard to slide away from the grip of the crab.

You probably won't want to, of course. Lots of girls are looking for a moonlit world like his to dream in, where someone will hold them tightly and protect them from the big, bad wolf at the door.

Now that you know he's not a sloppy dresser or a spend-thrift, that he can probably cook like a dream, has excellent taste, is looking for an old-fashioned girl like the girl who married dear old dad, and that he can be a cooing lovebird (when he's not in a snappy mood), what other information could you possibly need? How is he as a father? That's the best news of all. Cancerians are all mothers at heart. Even the men.

What I really mean to say is, he'll be a fine parent, be­cause of the same caring, gentle, sympathetic, and under­standing nature you fell in love with yourself. He'll have infinite padence with the children, be genuinely interested in every mashed toe, broken toy and toothache. He'll wear a paper hat at their birthday parties, be a pied piper for all the kids on the block, and spend countless hours entertain­ing the little people.

Cancer dads are proud of their sons and fiercely protective of their daughters. When they're small, he'll be just the grandest daddy you could imagine. However, adolescence may chum up the water somewhat. He'd like his loved ones to lean on him forever, and when they show signs of independence, he may become a cranky crab again for a period, as he rebels against their desire to experiment with the world outside.

He'll pace the floor until he wears a hole in the carpet when young Henry has the car out after midnight or when pretty Lucy stays at the dance past her curfew. Remember how figures impress him? Use plain arithmetic to make him see the error of his ways. "It's like this, dearest. Right now we have two children. When they get married, we might have six or eight grandchildren, like dividends at the bank. :

Six or eight adds up to more happiness than two, right?" (You have him there.) "I'm so glad you agree, luv. Now will you please tell us where you hid Lucy's wedding gown, and will you please take those handcuffs off Henry so he can pick up his marriage license?" Don't try it dur­ing a full Moon. He might misunderstand. Besides, no Cancerian can think straight when the lunar vibrations are strong. It's hard for him to give up control, but when he's reminded that he still has you to cling to, his grip will loosen.

Well, that's all in the future. Your immediate problem is to entice your crab to move directly toward a proposal soon, instead of cleverly dodging from side to side and skirting the issue. You might try pretending you're leaving him for a bolder, cave man type. Usually the crab will stop his backward direction when the object-that's you -shows signs of getting away. But that requires scouting around for another man to wake him up. And that can be a real bore, since he watches you so closely.

The easiest way to get him in the mood to take hold tightly and stop playing scrabble every night is to work on his emotions, which are always right below the surface of his adding machine mind.

Music, poetry, flowers, beautiful clothes, expensive perfume sparingly used, soft words and sweet caresses are all weapons which should mow down his weak resistance to romance. Don't overlook that direct line between his heart and his stomach. Cut out baby pictures from magazines, leave your sewing machine out in full view, take up the hems of your skirts an extra inch, and baby him a little.

Wear one of those bracelets made of foreign coins.

That will strike two sensitive chords-travel to faraway shores-and cash. One night he'll impulsively ask you if you'd like to meet his mother. The very next morning feel perfectly safe to order your invitations and your trousseau. You will have won the heart of a moody lunar man with a thousand secret dreams-and the ap­proval of his best girl. Then you can "sail away for a year and a day" and "dance by the light of the moon" while you "eat with a runcible spoon." Bon voyage!

Don't forget-never throw away his battered old hat, his torn tennis shoes, his stamp collection or his grade school report cards. They're his treasures. Be sure to take your umbrella along. There will be some damp nights. May I say that you look beautiful in your chinchilla? But of course. A woman is beautiful only when she is loved-and you are.

 
The CANCER Woman

. . . Echoes fade and memories die:

Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise, Alice moving under skies Never seen by waking eyes.

There's so doubt about it. In the beginning, you'll have trouble deciding if your Cancerian girl is a gentle moon maiden or a wild loony-bird. In the end, you still won't know.

During the rainy season, she'll drown you in her sorrows. When the sun peeks through the clouds again, she'll double you up with laughter, and touch you with tenderness. Experiencing her moods is like watching one of those old-time silent movies where hysterical slapstick humor comes on just before the Perils of Pauline thriller, and the entire show is backed by the tinny piano in the pit Sometimes the tune is lively and gay; then it gets mel­ancholy and blue. The music is variable, to suit the occa^ sion, never stagnant or monotonous. So it is with the Cancer girl. She's just a little mad, slightly sad and superb­ly imaginative. She also knows how to save the shekels.

Naturally, you can't look under her mattress until after you've married her. Modesty is a thing with her. But you can safely make a bet she probably has an old sock there, stuffed with green bills and silver coins. She may have an extravagant ascendant or Moon sign, but even so, she'll' have a quarter or two stuck under the potted azalea, or salted away in the folds of that lace tablecloth she got for her birthday ten years ago and still hasn't ever used. Open One of her books of poetry, and a wrinkled dollar bill may fall out, blinking at the light of day. A Cancer female can go on a sudden spending spree when she's been hurt and needs balm for her injured ego, but most of the time her outgo will lag considerably behind her income. Your sav­ings account may be of unusual interest to her, and money may be one of her favorite topics of conversation. She won't look down on you if you don't have it, so long as you're the kind of man who tries to get it. She'll help you make it and save it, but you're on your own when it comes to wasting it. Don't go too far, or she'll see your mutual security slipping away. When you give this girl a terribly expensive gift, and she says, "You shouldn't have done it," let me tell you, she means it.

To take her mind off insurance, mortgages, rent, bills and her Christmas club balance at the bank, bundle her off to the seashore at midnight for a walk in the moonlight. That's when shell be at her best. The Moon will pull out all her secret dreams, and the nearness of the water may loosen her four hundred and three inhibitions. You're liable to see her whole range of emotions in the space of an hour. Then you can choose the one you like the best and en­courage her to cultivate it. A strange transformation will take place when you get the typical Cancerian girl alone on a beach under a full Moon. That cool and reserved lady you see in the daytime, or even the giggly, outrageous flirt you notice on an occasional evening in a restaurant or theater, will suddenly become a creature from another world when the magnetic rays of the Moon shine in her eyes and the compelling sound of the surf fills her ears. She'll turn into a sea nymph, who can soar with you as far as your imagination can reach. It will work nine times out of ten, and the tenth time you probably picked a new Moon. That won't accomplish the same purpose. She'll be shy and sweet when the Moon is waning but what you really want is a Moon that's full enough to arouse all her latent talents. Under its spell, at the right time in her personal ebb and flow of emotions, she can write a poem, compose a song or tear the veil off mysteries the philoso­phers have pondered for centuries. Naturally, she makes an interesting conversationalist at these times. To say the very least.

You should know that there are two distinctive ap­proaches when a Cancerian female is in love with you. The first is gentle and womanly, shy, modest and pleasantly trembly. The second is rather sticky. This last type will use every trick of Eve to sit as close as possible to you in the booth. It can be very exciting, of course, if you really care for her. But if you're just being friendly, and she deliberately squeezes your hand or busses you on the cheek just as the girl you found at the end of the rainbow walks by, the game may lose some of its flavor. You can go along with the gag, but I know one man who did, and the other girl, who was for real and didn't play games, kept on walk­ing. He was left with a clinging crab with a fit of the giggles. This kind of Cancerian woman can be a real threat to true love and happy homes. Fortunately, she is in the minority. Still, even one can cause a lot of trouble.

As you know from the other Sun signs, few women are perfect. The Aries girl is always running around hailing her own taxis and butting her head against brick walls, the Sagittarius girl is shockingly outspoken, the Scorpio girl can frighten you, Gemini can be fickle, Leo too proud- and so on. Cancer women ordinarily have none of these faults.

Nevertheless, there are some "don'ts" to remember with her. She hates to be criticized, she is deeply wounded by ridicule, and she just can't stand being rejected. One, two, three. They're basics. Seldom openly aggressive, the typical Cancerian hesitates. You'll have to make the first move. If she moves anywhere at all, it will be backwards or side­ways. With her basically shy nature and fear that she won't be accepted, she echoes .the male of the Sun sign. I know of a Cancer woman and a Cancer man who, for seven hours, sat close to each other one night in her apart­ment, under the pretense of looking at magazines. While their pulses pounded silently, they went through a stack of back issues, the morning and evening papers, and worked a few crossword puzzles. Neither crab, you see, wanted to make the first move.

Be kind to her mother, or she'll never forgive you. Mother is a lady she won't like to see abused. The Cancer girl's sense of humor doesn't react favorably to mother-in-law jokes. And never read her five-year-diary. It proba­bly has a lock and key, anyway. Cancerians like to keep secrets. They're not much for true confessions, unless you're the one doing the confessing.

The fears of your lunar lovely can really hang you up, along with her. She's afraid she isn't pretty enough, she isn't smart enough, she isn't young enough or she isn't old enough. It makes no difference if she has a figure like Venus de Milo, a face like Helen of Troy and a mind like Aristotle: she'll still feel inadequate. Assure her that she's young, she's lovely, she's engaged, and she has you. About twenty times a day should begin to make a dent. Her moods will change on the average of four times a month, with each quarter Moon plus minor fluctuations twice a day- reflecting the tides. She's sort of predictable in an un­predictable kind of way. It may make her fascinating and mysterious, but so doggone aggravating youll feel like whacking her. During one of her blue spells, she may even be afraid she's not a good cook, which is utterly ridiculous, because the typical Cancerian woman can make a French chef look like the mess sergeant you had at boot camp. This woman isn't an automatic can opener or a frozen food fan. She would rather shell her own peas and bake her own biscuits. Her casseroles are sensational, her potatoes are fluffy, her vegetables are crisp and crunchy, and she tops it all off with heavenly strawberry jam. Cancer women are very friendly with their ovens. The kitchen will be her favorite room by far (next to the nursery). She'll fuss over you like a mother hen, and you'll probably love it.

Most men do.

In addition to the obviously unjustified fear about her culinary skill, she may be afraid you don't love her enough. That should be easy for any red-blooded male to remedy. Go ahead and prove it-as often as you like. She'll be beautifully receptive. Once you've turned on the green light, she'll happily recognize the signal, which may re­move her feelings of inadequacy, but which creates a new problem. Truthfully, after you've won the Cancerian fe­male, she may be just a little tenacious-like, she'll never let go of you as long as she lives. That's not bad. There »re men who starve for such loyalty. You'll never starve for either food or affection when you've been lucky enough to win her kind of love. The loony laugh that accompanies it can be kind of kicks, too. Her rich humor is even warmer and dearer when you think of all the sarcastic sirens with their cynical wit and hypocritical laughter.

It's brutally unfair to toy with the heart of this girl, because shell love, honor, obey and nag you a little with sincere devotion. Why encourage such rare love unless you mean to reciprocate with equal ardor? Remember her tenacity. You may only be flirting lightly, but you'll have a hard time calling the end of the inning. She won't hear the whistle. There's nothing shallow or superficial about the sentiments of a Cancer woman. When she owns a man or a teacup, it's hers forever.

She may not overwhelm your friends with her vivacity and sparkling flattery, but she won't fail to impress you with her charm. July women prefer to save their deepest emotions for people closest to them. After you've dated other girls and compared them to her, you may go running right back to your female crab, and beg her to hang on again. Tightly.

The trickiest aspect in handling her is to keep her from crawling into the always handy, tough Cancerian shell. Her feelings are so sensitive and tender, the slightest un­intentional remark can wound her harshly. It's hard to know when she'll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, "Your hair looks gorgeous," and she'll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy. They cry a lot. Always have a fresh handkerchief ready.

Females born under the sign of the crab aren't neces­sarily stingy, but they have this little habit of saving things. You could say it's a downright compulsion. She'll seldom throw away pieces of string, buttons, jars, cans, husbands, or old dress patterns. Who are you to say she won't find a purpose for those torn theater stubs, faded love letters and used tea bags? Someday in the unpredictable future, she may need the burned-out fuses she keeps in the drawer with those broken Christmas ornaments. Don't ask her how she's going to find a use for two hundred stockings and gloves, long divorced from their mates. She will, she will! This isn't the girl to take kindly to someone who burns a hole in the heirloom bedspread her great-aunt Matilda quilted. Everything has a sentimental value, in­cluding canceled checks from 1952 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes you. She's not so much jealous as possessive. There's a shade of difference.

Women born under the fire signs may strain and protest against life's delays and disappointments, but the Cancer girl usually feels nothing can be changed or overcome by getting all stirred up. When things don't go her way, she may shed a few quiet tears alone, but her normal reaction will be to fold her hands serenely and wait patiently for things to right themselves. Patience is one of her loveliest virtues. When she's depressed, however, youll have to find a way to take her out of herself. Try to catch her be­fore she has burrowed too deep. She does have a way of wanting to be babied. The desire to be a little spoiled by loved ones seems to be buried deep in the Cancerian nature. She needs desperately to know you can't live with­out her. and sometimes shell go to great lengths to arouse your pity and protective instincts, just to be assured she means a lot to you. It's really very little for her to ask, when she gives so much in return. But don't be fooled by her weakness during these episodes. That helpless little baby who seeks your big, strong arms to keep out the cold, cruel world is perfectly able to manage by herself, if she must. In the middle of a quarrel, when your lunar girl looks up at you with her eyes all wet and dewy and frightened, remember that after you leave and are safely around the corner, she's likely to dry her eyes, put a stack of records on the player, and calmly clean out her closets. Of course, you can't rule out the times when her depres­sion is real, instead of a typical Cancerian bid for sympathy. Those nights you'd better stay, listen to the music with her, and hold her hand tenderly.

There's no end to the heroic sacrifice a Cancer woman will be capable of for those she loves. The bravery she can't seem to muster for herself and her own fears is there shining when someone close needs her to be strong. She'll never let you down when things get really dismal, and then she'll remind you more of a gigantic, rugged rock than a fragile, silvery moonbeam. Her children will also find her a tower of strength and refuge. She'll help them find their way with sensitive understanding. They'll cling to her, and the warmth of her love will make their home as rich and comfortable and bright as a palace, even if it's a shack. You might suffer a slight loss of attention when the babies come along. Cancer rules motherhood, you know. There will still be room for you, but you'll have to move over a few inches. (A childless Cancerian woman will love an animal or her friends with her stored up ma­ternal affection, and the pets and pals will be fortunate.) Like baby birds, her youngsters will probably be fed every time she finds their mouths open, and always the food will be hot and nourishing.

Nothing is too good for her family. When a child sneezes, he'll get plopped into bed with medicines, hot tea and chicken broth until he gets old enough to resist. The offspring of a Cancer mother won't get away without wear­ing his thick sweater on a cold night, his scarf and mittens in the snow or his galoshes in the rain. A child has to have lots of will power to fight the crab's protective solici­tude. He has to be pretty tough not to get spoiled, too. It's often quite a jolt when he goes out into the world and finds out he's not the center of everyone's universe. Such complete dedication and devotion can give him a wonderful featherbed of security to fall back on when life gets too real, but it can also make him abnormally dependent on home ties, and unable to see his own faults. It's often im­possible to tell whether a Cancer mother ties her children to her apron strings or they choose to tie the knot them­selves. She'll save every spelling test paper, proudly hang clumsy crayon drawings on the wall and tenderly wrap baby shoes in tissue paper. Those little wrinkled bits of white kidskin are precious, because the lunar parent with her clear, photographic memory will recall a child's first steps long after he's flown away from the nest. The flight itself may be painful. Cancer women are reluctant to give up their youngsters to the ties of marriage. They tend to hang on too hard and too long, and think no one is good enough for them. Sometimes, the potential bride or groom of a man or woman with a July parent has to pass every­thing but the ink blot test to get approved.

I once knew a Cancer mother who used to meet her small son every day after school. He would always come bursting through the door like a jet-propelled rocket, and immediately run furiously around the schoolyard a few times before he came near her. Once, when she was ac­companied by her sister, the aunt started to go after the little boy, but the Cancer mother stopped her. "No, let him be," she said quietly. "He's just working off steam. He'll be back when he's through running." Finally her son walked over to her, took her hand and said, "Let's go home. Mom. I'm hungry."

That sums up the whole attitude of the lunar female toward all forms of love, and most of all toward her m arriage. It's her strange brand of possessiveness that's unshakable, but never aggressive. She knows, in her secret heart, that no matter how far away you go to follow your dream, youll always come back again and she'll be there patiently waiting. Her eyes will still be beautiful with the Moon magic you remember, the kitchen will smell deli-ciously of warm spices, and she'll ask you how things went, how you feel. If things went badly and you feel miserable, shell tell a joke to get you to laugh. Then she'll fill your stomach, and after you're relaxed, she'll gently smooth away your worries with her sensible advice and her rich humor. Later, in the firelight, you'll look at her serene face and ask yourself all over again, "Is she really a Moon maiden from some misty garden or a lovable loony bird?" But the answer won't seem very important.

The CANCER Child
Dear, dear, haw queer everything is today! And yesterday things went on just as usual.

Write it down so you'll remember it and not be surprised every day of your life: your Cancer baby will change his moods as frequently as you change his diaper.
It's a strange new world for the lunar infant. He'll be fascinated by delicious things to eat and drink, and he'll love all the colorful pictures which pass before his sharp little eyes, and impress themselves on his indelible memory.
What he experiences will never leave him. When he's old and gray, your Cancerian boy or girl will remember every feeling and emotion, and be able to give it back as an exact image.

One of the dearest Cancerian women I ever knew was born in Europe, and when she was ill, she would sing every word of the Russian lullabies she had heard as a child, even though she came to America almost half a century ago.
Most of us would be lucky if we remembered the tune or words to "Rockabye Baby."

From breakfast until bedtime, the busy mind of the Cancerian child will be recording what he sees and hears.

It's difficult for worldly adults to follow him up his Moon mountain of dreams or go beside him as he wades in the streams of his luminous imagination. His emotions are rich, colorful and varied, but for all that, he may be lonely.

Playing with lunar babies can be loads of fun. They're funny little creatures, with droll expressions and eyes that almost talk by themselves. Their features constantly eon-tort with tears, twist with a grimace or spread wide with smiles.
It's interesting to watch those elastic expressions, but you may frequently wish you could predict when he's going to giggle, or get that faraway look in his eye as he listens to the curious music every Moon child hears.

These youngsters have more emotional needs that Pisces boys and girls. Much more than with any other children, the strongest influence on Cancerians is always the early home environment. From infancy through the teens, young crabs are tremendously dependent on the reactions of their parents and their brothers and sisters.
Your lunar child may be too shy to express his real inner desires, but he secretly wants to be made over, cuddled and adored. If he doesn't get attention and approval from his family, relatives and friends, the rejection can simply crush him.
I have a close friend who was born in July. Late one night in her kitchen (where else?), we were talking about her childhood.

She told me, "When I was a little girl in grade school, my parents gave me ten or fifteen cents a week to spend. But I never spent it. I saved it, so I could give a prize."

"For what?" I asked her.

A wistful look passed across her wonderfully mobile features. "Well, I used to offer fifty cents at the end of each month to the friend who treated me the nicest."

At first I was amused, and started to remind her of all tfae candy and treats she had missed by passing out her entire allowance for kind treatment, but something in her eyes changed my mind.

Although your young Cancerian may briefly turn into a rebel without a cause in adolescence, during his tender years the little crab is usually easy to manage and dis­cipline. His inner life is very real to him, and he'll happily play by himself for many hours.
He may even have an invisible playmate called something like Boris or Betty, who helps him make mud pies, plant imaginary flowers or play cowboy and Indian. The make-believe Boris or Betty are always well-behaved and courteous. They will always let the Cancer youngster win, and they'll give in to his desire to be a gentle leader without a murmur.
Sometimes these imaginary playmates will disappear for weeks at a time, but they'll return as soon as a real, live neighbor­hood chum or schoolmate wounds those little lunar feel­ings or bosses the Moon child around too much.
As docile and quiet as most Cancerians are. Cancer is a cardinal Sun sign of leadership. Despite their tender emotions and gentle manners, they are not followers. There's a great deal of independent thinking and individualism.

If your offspring follows the pattern of most July chil­dren, he'll get his way and be slightly spoiled around the edges. It's the squeaky hinge that gets the most oil.
He won't exactly squeak, but he can get mighty weepy when he's ignored or treated harshly. Talk about tears! A Moon child can cry rivers and flood a room. It's as if someone left the kitchen spigots running.
If all that dampness doesn't get him the tender sympathy he must have for healthy emotions, the little Cancerian boy or girl will grow up into a dry-eyed adult with a barren heart, unable to give or receive love easily-seeking solitude, forming very few warm friendships-and become a recluse in old age.

When such a sensitive little crab is in your care, it's really urgent to laugh and cry with him and to calm his fears. Hell have a whole passel of them. Your own. lunar child may not have each one on the list, but he's sure to have quite a few.
He can be afraid to go to sleep in the dark without a soft night light, afraid of fire and matches, afraid of fast cars and loud noises. He can fear strangers, large animals, bright lights, food he's never tasted before, lightning and thunder.

Lots of young loony-birds get the blues when it rains. A spring or fall shower can do strange things to the inner nature. It can make him suddenly want to write a poem, paint a picture or make music.
At other times, it can cause him to hide his frightened little head under the bedspread, while his bottom half protrudes and trembles visibly.

This child requires much emotional empathy to develop his fine, loving, artistic and creative qualities. If it is given wholeheartedly in his formative years, it will help him grow into a patient, generous, quietly confident and open-hearted adult.
If attentive understanding is denied him, his natural compassion and gentleness may be warped and twisted into self-pity and bitter, silent brooding. Fear, unless coped with early, can become illogical prejudice and hatred.
Little crabs who have been stunted in their emotional growth sometimes turn into suspicious snappers, often revengeful and even suicidal.
At best, these moody, un­happy men and women lead sad, uneventful lives, unless they make a dramatic decision to bury themselves in build­ing a financial empire or developing a latent talent. Either one can mercifully replace the love and affection withheld from the gentle lunar heart when it was the most vulnerable -in childhood.

It can't be emphasized enough that these sensitive chil­dren can imagine hurts or slights, and dream up a rejection which never existed.
Special care has to be taken to con­vince them that they're good, smart, pretty, handsome, loved and wanted. Many parents sense this, which is why lots of little crabs are pampered so much at home that they get quite a shock as adults when they discover the world takes a cool, disinterested view of their personal desires.
No wonder so many Cancerians fondly remember Mama and practically build a shrine to her as they grow older.
No one else will ever again care quite so much.
The big question with a Moon child is always whether to be overly firm and warp him, or overly permissive and spoil him. Finding the middle road is never easy, and the problem can keep you up a few nights.
The keyword is: relax. Love usually finds the way. The best formula is a good old-fashioned spanking when he needs it, with plenty of hugs and kisses and lots of physical expressions of affection at all other times.

Teachers normally find the Cancerian boys and girls whizzes in history.
They seldom forget dates or events. That's because, thanks to their mirror-like sensitivity, they can read about something that happened years ago, and almost believe they were there.
If Paul Revere, Thomas Jefferson, or Abraham Lincoln themselves could return and tell their stories, they probably wouldn't be recounted with much more color than the typical young Cancerian uses when he discusses the happenings of the dim and dusty past. It's as if they actually saw the Battle of Lex-ington, the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the shot fired on Fort Sumter. There's hardly a detail they can't imagine.
It's easy to see why so many of these sensi­tive boys and girls go on the stage, become creative photographers or follow a distinguished career in music or art.
Instructors of the young lunar mind may now and then complain of stubbornness or daydreaming, but it's not often that either failing becomes pronounced enough to be really troublesome.
There may be some exaggerating.
The boy may describe the ordeal of being attacked in the woods by a dangerous bear to explain some scratches caused by a fall from his own front porch. The girl may give a sad recital of how she was locked out with no supper by cruel parents, after what was only a mild argument with her family.
But a few tall tales can be expected when you consider the strong mental impressions created by reading adventure stories with the lunar imagination. When there's real heartache, instead of make-believe tragedy, the typical Cancerian child will normally remain quiet and decline to speak about it.
There's an old Chinese proverb: "He who is really hurt-doesn't talk."

Like the Libran child, happy Cancerian youngsters can run up the family food bill to fantastic proportions and soothing hurt feelings caused by the nickname Fatty is common. If there's a lot of brooding or nervousness, the nickname may be Skinny. It's best to bypass all nicknames with Moon children. They should never be teased.

Most young crabs look forward to working for pay, and they'll scour the neighborhood for odd jobs. Your Cancer child will begin early to cut grass, sweep leaves and babysit. He'll return bottles for refunds, help hang out the laundry, assist the trash men, sell lemonade at the curb, or anything else he can think of that will make his pockets jingle.
The pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters-and finally the dollars he makes will be carefully accounted for, and a good portion of them saved. After a while, you may be able to save some yourself-on his allowance. He'll probably sup­ply his own spending money sooner than other children, and be proud of it. You'll find him easy on your pocket-book in many ways.
These children often work their way through college. The boys will have a healthy curiosity about the business world. The girls will be efficient in cash matters, too, but they'll also spend lots of time with their dolls and baking brownies, practicing for their future careers as mothers.

The Cancer child will keep you amused with his jokes and his contagious laugh. He can make funny faces that look like Halloween masks, and he sees the humor in every facet of the human parade as it passes.
Give him, if pos­sible, a little plot of earth he can call his own, where he can plant things with his green thumb and watch them grow. He'll be tenderly concerned with relatives who are ill, financial emergencies in the family, and the difficulties of his friends and neighbors.
Lunar youngsters love books about heroic people who braved hardships to do great deeds, and they'll be especially gentle and sympathetic with animals. But if they feel cruelly treated themselves, they may pass on the cruelty, or rather, reflect it to others smaller than themselves in a sort of "kick the cat" pro­gression.
Young crabs can live up to the name and be quite crabby, but such moods seldom last more than a few hours, before they're replaced by a lovable loony grin.

As you turn off the lamps at bed time, you may wonder, as all parents do about a day in the not too far distant future when the little head that keeps popping up "for one more drink of water" will be missing.
The house will be still then, and empty of his alternating tears and laughter, after the funny, imaginative little crab crawls away to raise his own family. Will he forget? Not if he was born in late June or July. Years can go by, and he may sail on distant seas, but you can keep his bean bag-the one he gave you that Saturday afternoon you quarreled-on his dresser.
And you can leave her rag doll in its place on the window seat. Your Moon child will come home again ' many times throughout every tomorrow-to meet old mem­ories and return to the past.
No matter how many miles separate him from yesterday, anywhere he lives is always handy to home.
Keep the cookie jar full

The CANCER Boss
"You see," he went on after a pause, "ifs as -well to be provided for everything. That's the reason the horse has all those anklets around his feet."

"But what are they for?" Alice asked, in a tone of great curiosity.

"To guard against the bites of sharks," the Knight replied.

After learning about the Cancerian sense of humor, you may have the impression that the office of a Cancer boss is a real fun place, with everything except confetti and a sommelier to serve champagne. The employees will all be straight men, and the lunar executive is the stand-up comic with the clever one-liners. It will be like going to work in a nightclub every day. Well, no-not exactly.

If you work for a TV or movie funnyman, all that just might apply. Anywhere else, you'd best dust the confetti off your shoulder, straighten your tie and forget the jokes. The serious, hard-working Caneerian executive doesn't go for hilarity on the job. His working humor can consist of anything from laughing at an over-confident competitor falling on his face to a faint chuckle when you ask him to double your salary before you have proved yourself.
Both of these situations will strike his funny ribs and bring a wide grin. Nothing else will arouse much mirth or many giggles. The humor is still there, beneath his crisp business face and his snow-white collar, but it will be used sparingly on the job. Most of his laughs at work will be saved for the human comedy of errors, or to ease someone's nervous­ness, and the tone will usually be kindly. Seven hours and fifty-nine minutes out of every eight working hours, how­ever, will be humorless, even grim.

I don't mean to frighten you into thinking he's Simon Legree (though there are a few Cancerian bosses of that type scattered around the world). It's just that your job under a Cancer boss will be more secure if you see that your trousers are creased, your hair is parted neatly, and your brain is operating at a sharp level than if you tell a few fast ones, happily trying to play second banana. The top banana you're trying to impress is off duty in the humor mill while he sits behind that polished mahogany desk, with his mother's picture on one side, and the group picture of his family on the other.
Can you imagine what would have happened to a member of Calvin Coolidge's cabinet if he pulled the one about "who was that lady I saw you with last night" in the middle of a meeting? I know an employee who made a serious error in quoting a shipping date to a valued client. When his Cancerian superior called him in for an accounting, prepared to be kind, he cheerfully said, "Boss, I sincerely regret my stupidity, and if you'll give me a couple of days, I'm sure I can come up with several excellent excuses!" He would have been a scream in old-time vaudeville, but he got the hook from his unamused Cancer employer.

Hopefully, you will profit from the large egg that em-i ployee laid at his last performance. The Cancer boss is in business for one purpose only. To make money. Period. I Money. It's made of green and black printed paper, and it has different numbers in the upper comers, signifying ! how much power, prestige, and luxury it will buy. You trade it for hard work. The harder you work, the more pieces of this green and black printed paper you get and the larger the numbers are in the upper comers. That's his philosophy, in a crab shell. It would be wise to make it yours.

So you think he's a little stuffy, do you? Maybe if he re­laxed more, and stopped being so strict about goofing off, -and created a friendlier atmosphere, he would not only be more successful, he would be happier, too. Has that oc­curred to you? Glance at a copy of Who's Who in Com­merce and Industry. The summer birthdays will be the heaviest, and July will top them all. Then take another look at the names of the Cancerians at the end of "How to Recognize" this Sun sign. He must be doing something right.

Whatever business he is in, the Cancer boss is really in his element when it comes to trading-from horses to stocks-and anything in between. He is a past master at figuring out what people want and supplying it at a sub­stantial profit.

The lure of cash may even have taken him away from the education he wanted, and he became a self-made man. It not, then you can safely wager a month's paycheck that, while he was in college he was working part-time and setting a little moola aside. What am I saying, college? This man probably had his first employment at the age of six or seven, going to the comer store to get milk or bread and charging his doting mother two cents for the trip.
Ask him when he began his first salaried job. You'll probably get quite a shock.
But it will increase your status with him. He'll respect you and make a mental note that you're thinking right. By the way, watch those mental notes he makes. He has a memory like an elephant. Cancer bosses seldom forget a thing. That includes what time you arrive, what time you leave and how many times you visit the washroom while you're there. But hell also remember the nights you stayed late and the time you worked all week­end to help him with an important contract, and you'll be justly, even generously, rewarded.

He may have inherited wealth and position, but the Cancer boss will seldom rest on his family's laurels. He has to prove he can stack up the gold pieces on his own. Still, he's not greedy. He's truly sympathetic and charitable, without being naive about it. To him, charity begins at home. His family comes first. Next, his business. After that, it's your turn-and everybody else's. No one can be as big-hearted and financially generous when the recipient is deserving, and when there's really nowhere else he can go for help. The crab will make his gesture then-and it • won't be small. Just remember that there's a wide berth between honest charity and rash speculation. He has a soft heart, but he doesn't have a soft head.

In reality, your Cancer boss is a deeply sensitive, gentle person, and basically insecure. Success calms many of his inner fears, and that's why he pursues it so devotedly. When he's hurt, and that may be far more frequently than you realize, he crawls into his hard shell. It's also a Cancerian defense when he doesn't get what he wants, and it often works to his advantage. People always feel sorry for a crab who has retreated inside his shell, and some­times they'll promise quite a bit to coax him back out.

There are lots of female Cancerian bosses, too. Almost every single Cancer woman you'll ever meet has worked at sometime in her life, is working now, or is bossing you now. She may be in love with love, but it will have a rival in her job that can win in a walk. She won't be happy with emotional security alone, even if she sometimes thinks she would.
To all Cancerians, happiness is a twin-money and affection in equal measure.
The female crab probably detests housework, anyway. Most Cancer women do. If you've heard differently, it's because of the attachment they have to the kitchen.
Actually, these women would much rather compete in a man's world, with all their sensitive feelings, than drudge through the daily routine of j sweeping and dusting and dusting and sweeping, with an occasional mopping thrown in to relieve the monotony. They hate to admit it, and their homes are usually pleasant enough places, clean or messy, but they do dislike being ; housewives.
The affection and protection that goes with it I is dandy, but the furniture polish they can do without In most ways, the women executives don't differ essentially from the men, with one exception. The girl crabs dont wear trousers and white shirts and ties. They wear gentle smiles to hide tender hearts and hard shell minds, usually topping it off with feminine and romantic clothing.

All Cancer bosses have a remarkable insight into your feelings. They'll understand everything you say with un­canny accuracy, and the unnerving part is that they're also perceptive enough to sense the meaning of the words you leave unspoken, so watch what you leave unspoken.
Cancerians aren't really loners. They may act like it at times, when they're passing through a cranky or depressed mood, but they usually surround themselves with people. Solitude is fearful to most crabs, except to those who have sought it because of very deep wounds very early in life, and even they are miserable alone, though they may not consciously realize it.

It's good to work for a Cancerian executive. Youll Ie am more in one month from him than you will in a year from other bosses. The most important thing you'll learn is consideration. A Cancer boss drives a hard bargain, but he's fair while he's being shrewd. Playing a game of win or lose with the big guys who hold the blue chips is one thing. Taking advantage of the innocent is another.

I He's essentially a kind and decent man, who's moved to deep pity by both cruelty and misfortune. Courtesy and compassion aren't old-fashioned words to him. They are part of his gentleman's code. If your intentions are sin­cere, your motives are sound and your heart is honest, he'll back you through mistaken opinions and personal troubles.

The crab waits patiently and tenaciously, with both eyes wide open. His mind remains alert and practical, but his heart dreams, and the dreams are as magic as the moon­light that stirs him. They can take him on a glamorous, exciting trip around the world, or inspire him to build a towering industry that uses its excess profits to encourage scientific research which will help humanity. But every dream is built on a solid foundation. His poetry is beautiful, but it always makes sense.

As for that joke, make sure you tell it to him at lunch, not on company time. If it's about plain people and has a good point, hell laugh. Then you'll find out what he's really like. Watch his eyes, and you'll see that the lunar laugh is a bright and brave answer to inner fears and hurts that only the patient crab, with his gentle heart and tough shell, could dare to give.


The CANCER Employee
"And they drew all manner of things- everything that begins with an M- .. . such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness. . . ."

It's always nice to have a Cancerian work for you, because he actually works for you. He doesn't work for glory or a misty chimera, and he doesn't stop by each day because he has a crush on the receptionist. He never thinks of his job as a way to express his ego or as an amusing way to pass the time between coffee breaks. He works for the simplest' reason in the world. Security. Meaning, of course, his pay-check.

You should understand immediately that a Cancerian paycheck must be made of elastic. It will have to gradually stretch bigger and bigger. As time goes on, and he gathers experience, proves his loyalty and shows his talents or abilities, he'll expect more money.
His income must al­ways equal his output, and his output will steadily increase. The paycheck will have to match it or he'll be forced to do something completely against his nature-let go of his job and go elsewhere.
It's never easy for the crab to let go of anything-toothbrushes, old get-well cards, shoe-strings, socks, girls, empty ball-point pens or jobs. He gets a firm grip and you can't pry him loose.
Dependability and tenacity were the materials used in building his nature, and they were used with a lavish hand. They serve him well on his ambitious climb to success. He may shake and shiver and tremble a little on the way when the sharks ap­pear and his emotions are cut to the quick, but all that will be kept safely encased inside his tough shell of de­liberate purpose.
Despite the crab's apparent gentleness, Cancer is a cardinal sign, which means Cancerians were born to take responsibility-to lead, not be led. They'll accept discipline from the boss with calm docility while it's necessary, but never forget what's behind their willingness to follow orders gracefully.
When the crab obediently serves, he's really serving his own secret purposes. His job happens to represent an important brick in the large edifice he's building. As soon as the sturdy structure is completed, he will take over and rule. In other words, he is aiming for an executive position. It never leaves his mind for an instant.
It's best you keep it in yours also, for obvious reasons.

His motivation in laying those bricks with such strong mortar is seldom a desire for power. Prestige doesn't goad him on, as it does the Capricorn, the goat, nor ego, as it does Aries, the ram. He's driven to accumulate cash and an unshakable position of authority for different reasons.
Cancerians need the security of knowing that all their tomorrows are safe, so they can finally relax and live where their hearts are-in yesterday.
That takes money.
Antiques are expensive.
So are huge, old houses and luxurious dinners, served graciously.
Collecting old autographs requires a lot of cash, too, and handsome frames to hold portraits of ancestors aren't cheap.
Good hi-fi sets for classical music cost plenty of dimes.
Besides, the Can­cer employee may need ubstantial sums to support rela­tives who have moved in during a troubled spell, or an offspring may be in need of more money for a variety of reasons. In addition, the crab has a multitude of fears, both real and imaginary.
They form a complicated network of nagging self-doubts and feelings of inadequacy, which authority and leadership will ease the way novocaine dulls pain.

He needs one more thing. Affection. Naturally, that's not your responsibility. Still, it helps to be aware of it. Some-day you may have to give him a squeeze of the hand and a speech of warm gratitude instead of a raise. It won't be a substitute for cash by any means, but it might make him decide to stay around a little longer.
Appreciation is soothing to the Cancerian, but it will never completely re­place his sentimental attachment to his bank balance.

So don't go overboard and get into the habit of saying, "Rocky, old boy, I can't pay you the money you're worth now, but I love you madly." He may misunderstand your motive after a time or two. That is, he may think you're insincere. Be equally cautious with your female Cancerian employees. You could easily be misunderstood by them.
The Cancer woman is shy and timid with strangers, but she recognizes a romantic signal from miles away with frightening speed. If she's single, you'd better hope you are, because she'll get that tender, possessive look in her eyes, and you'll have quite a time getting out of the noose. If she's married, she'll freeze you cold or snap at you until you're properly respectful. Give your lunar people love, but try to remain impersonal about it.
I know that's like saying, "Hang your clothes on a hickory limb, but don't go near the water," but that's the way it is.
The strategy is something you'll have to figure out for yourself.

Just as surely as Cancerian Stephen Foster wrote "My Old Kentucky Home," the symbol of home will enter the lives of these employees one way or another. Your lunar secretary's mother may drop by frequently to lunch with her daughter-and a female crab working responsibly as a clerk in a department store for years will walk out suddenly if her son is in trouble or ill, and needs her.
That salesman who was born in July will enjoy a bit of travel, if he's a bachelor (as long as some one calls his mother every day while he's gone to see if she wants anything). But if he's married, he may not appreciate being sent out of town or being asked to sacrifice holidays at home for business emergencies.

If you have any Cancerian employees who are going through a separation or divorce, you have a problem on your hands that may disrupt your staff for weeks.
They'll spread a cloud of gloom over the office. If it's a female, double your order of Kleenex for the powder room. There will be periods of moody weeping, and she may spend a lot of time in court. The judge will award her substantial alimony or else. If support money for children is involved, she may need a month off.
Physical desertion is bad enough, but the threat of losing financial security will arouse every ounce of tenacity in her, and that's a lot of ounces. Crabs of both sexes take a broken home very hard. Your best bet about this Cancerian home fixation is to hang a poem on the wall of every office. "Home Is Where The Heart Is." Just beneath it, hang one of those arrangements of rare coins, on a background of lavender velvet, framed in sterling silver.
Have you missed the point? They won't.

When there's something you want to discuss with the Cancer employee, and you want to put him in a receptive frame of mind, take him to lunch or dinner.
Cancerians adore people who invite them for a meal. Not only does it mean he won't have to pick up the check, but food spells security in capital letters. Just watch his eyes light up. He may not be a big eater himself, but he's still more contented and peaceful when there's an abundance of food around. Be sure you take him to one of the finest restaurants in town. He'll love the luxury, since he's not paying the bill.

Cancerians are industrious workers. You can rely on them to be steady and reliable under all circumstances, except one. Cancer is a water sign, and people born under the three water signs enjoy liquids in all forms. If the aspects between the planets were afflicted at birth, one of these forms may be a hundred proof.
The Cancerian with a drinking problem is rare, but if you should happen to come across a July-born employee who fills the air with the crazy lunar laugh too frequently, or who weeps melancholy tears continually, he may be enjoying some­thing stronger than Java on his coffee breaks.
Don't form the opinion that every Pisces, Scorpio or Cancer person is a nipper. True, people born during these periods are more often found drowning their sorrows than others, but that's an overall statistic, covering millions of humans, and you can never use it when judging people individually.
Most of the Cancerians you meet will be sober. In fact, they may be so sober you wish they would relax a little over a cocktail.

They take their work seriously, and themselves even more so. The lunar sense of humor is warm and wonderful, full of sensitive insight into human nature, but when some­one's wit hits a tender spot, the crab may be deeply hurt. It's best to let him make the jokes.
With his kind heart and his sharp perception, it's unlikely that he'll wound anyone under the guise of comedy. The typical Cancerian employee won't scatter his punch lines during working hours on company time, but when you take him to dinner, he might keep you chuckling from the tomato juice through the cherries Jubilee.
Crabs can be utterly fascinating con­versationalists, unless they're in a gloomy mood, in which case one word an hour, snapped out briefly, will be about par.
They can pout beautifully. But they can also speak magnetically, and sway your emotions easily through their ability to play on people.

Cancerians feel things. No one can be more tender and sympathetic than a Cancer person when you need a friend, and no one can be crankier when they suspect someone is trying to take something from them, either emotionally or tangibly.
When the bank statement doesn't balance, they may frown in sullen silence for hours afterwards, and if a crab thinks an associate is after his or her job, there can be some pretty childish behavior, as a prelude to a fight-to-the-death for possession and ownership. The victim may not even suspect war has been declared until the vic­tory has been won.
Cancerians have more secrets than J. Edgar Hoover, James Bond and Sherlock Holmes com­bined.
They seldom advertise their moves in advance, and they almost never reveal their true inner thoughts, except to those who are so close to them there's little chance the confidence will ever boomerang.

The crab does well in any position that lets him use his natural abilities. He's often successful in merchandising, trading, manufacturing and buying for large chains. The baking, canning, packing and distribution of foods attracts many a Cancerian. Art (painting or sculpting), design­ing and interior decorating, music, museums, writing, ac­counting, real estate, children's clothing, social work, acting and directing, photography, gardening, lecturing, teaching, banking, oil, commerce, shipping and politics are all typical Cancer careers.
Managing hotels or restaurants, controlling theaters and arranging loans are also natural occupations for lunar people.

Your female Cancer employee loves babies, children, men, flowers, warmly heated offices, courtesy, romance, cooking, movies, books and money.
She's sensitive, re­sponsive to kindness, responsible and extremely capable.

She's moody.

Your male Cancer employee loves babies, children, women, respect, admiration, warmly heated offices, cour­tesy, romance, cooking, movies, books and money.
He's sensitive, responsive to kindness, responsible and extremely capable.

He's moody.

Well, can you tell the difference between the boy and girl crabs on the beach? Both sexes are gentle and dreamy, yet as sensible and practical as red flannel underwear. You'll be glad you hired them when business takes you away from the office more than you like. They love to watch the store.

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming, "Off with her head!

SHY PUSSYCATS

‘Tis the voice of Lobster’ I heard him declare,,

“You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.”

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