Sleeping Sickness...

Aku mengantuk. That's all I can say.

Kat tempat keja- Mengantuk.

Kat umah- Mengantuk.

Tgh bawak keta- Mengantuk. Speaking of my car, DFR kena slash bumbung... Sial tol, pasal duit syiling kurang RM20 aku kena beli bumbung baru. Kopak!

Dalam toilet tgh buang air besar- Mengantuk.

Atas tilam waktu malam - Mengantuk.

Atas tilam waktu pagi - Mengantuk jugak!

Pendek kata, aku ni ngantuk memanjang, dono why. Tido tak cukup kadang2 (2-3 jam semalam) tido kadang2 terlebey hamat (record baru 19 jam sehari- ala2 beruang koala dan panda).

Anyway hari ni nothing special happened, yes, I know every day is special but nothing worth sharing in here. I raided Ms. Halina "Helen's" Twitter Page... Amek gambo aku lam tu... Muahaha...

Rasa cam nak kuar umah, tapi malas, sebab aku mengantuk.

(Music saspen) Ntah2 aku kena penyakit ni...

Sleeping sickness or human African trypanosomiasis is a parasitic disease of people and animals, caused by protozoa of species Trypanosoma brucei and transmitted by the tsetse fly (ada ka menatang ni kat Langkawi?).

The disease is endemic in certain regions of Sub-Saharan Africa, covering about 36 countries and 60 million people. It is estimated that 50,000 to 70,000 people are currently infected, the number having declined somewhat in recent years.

Three major epidemics have occurred in recent history, one lasting from 1896–1906 and the other two in 1920 and 1970. In 2008 there was an epidemic in Uganda.

Symptoms begin with fever, headaches, and joint pains. As the parasites enter through both the blood and lymph systems, lymph nodes often swell up to tremendous sizes.

Winterbottom's sign, the telltale swollen lymph nodes along the back of the neck may appear.

If untreated, the disease slowly overcomes the defenses of the infected person, and symptoms spread to include anemia, endocrine, cardiac, and kidney diseases and disorders.

The disease then enters a neurological phase when the parasite passes through the blood-brain barrier.

The symptoms of the second phase give the disease its name; besides confusion and reduced coordination, the sleep cycle is disturbed with bouts of fatigue punctuated with manic periods progressing to daytime slumber and nighttime insomnia. Without treatment, the disease is fatal, with progressive mental deterioration leading to coma and death.

Damage caused in the neurological phase can be irreversible. If untreated, the disease kills 100% of its victims.

In addition to the bite of the tsetse fly, the disease is contractible in the following ways:

Mother to child infection: the trypanosome can cross the placenta and infect the fetus, causing perinatal death.

Laboratories: accidental infections, for example, through the handling of blood of an infected person and organ transplantation, although this is uncommon.

Blood transfusion (Rasanya dak sebab aku takut jarum)

Sexual contact (ni yang aku suke nih...)

Yo-o-o je... Dah aku malas dah nak taip... AKU MENGANTUK!

Pix...

Aku ske I-Phone Ms. Halina sebab aku nampak ensem (bagi aku la) bila amek gambo pakai henpon dia!

Cam anak pakistan siot... Ade orang cakap... Adek Sheikh Muszaffar Shukor- Sheikh Lisham Shukor? Ya... Rite... Ngan Ms. Jessica Gasper...

Aku tgh ngantuk kat opis sebelum masuk keja. Sempat lagi posing ala2 berbau lucah kat tangga.

Ni takde kena mengena, aku rasa boring dok umah, cam ni la perasaan aku skang.

Menguap Panjang...

Damn tired!

Meeting went well, but I think my job during Hot and Ha-pening! is going to be a wee bit memeningkan as Ms. Sufina aka Kak Piena can't join us (us=me + Awoosh la) to MC the thing. Got another offer from Ms. Suzie. Now that I'm available, I'm gonna earn some money and work myself to death.

Antara benda menarik yang jadi kat aku hari ni...

1. Aku pakai Baju Punjabi dengan Vest ngan Tarbus.

2. Aku dimake-upkan ala2 Tutankhamun (betul ke ejaan aku ni? Rasa cam was2 plaks)

3. Makanan aku hari ni cuma sepotong oren, dua-tiga suap kek coklat, 2 botol orange juice ngan sac (sac aaa bukan sex... lain tu), 2 mug neskopi... Tu je.

4. Aku menari ngan Head of Department Hotel, walaupun kemahiran menari aku kokak, tapi aku hentam je, gabungan Coco jumbo, lambada, macarena, shuffle2 sket dan strip tease, semua aku belasah je... Menari sampai lupa diri pakai baju punjabi ngan tarbus... Hehehe... Tu pun ada gak orang nak menari ngan aku... Takpe, janji aku yakin dan percaya kepada diri sendiri... Tabah dan berani lagi...

Got banyak lagi to share but too tired tonight. Pix.

Me and my personal make-up artiste Ms. Gina (tu nama die after 8pm until sunrise, after sunrise-before 8pm nama dia Mr. Adi) konon la... as if I so kaya to hired my personal make-up artiste kan? Dia ni terer wooo makeup2 ni... Dia keja kat DNE Boutique.

Last touch-up sebelum aku terus ke Gedix Mode lam toilet Berjaya Beach Resort.

Aku memperplayboykan kepala DJ Nana. Ms. Helen in the background co-ordinates everything. Lighting kurang menarik menyebabkan aku ada iras Syad Anas, korang tak kenal ke Syed Anas? Boy George Malaysia tu.

Syed Anas pun tetap laku dikalangan gadis wooo... siap kena serbu orang ajak nak tangkap gambar lagi. Ni Me ngan Ms. Dwi lagi.

Ni me ngan Ms. Jessica. Seriously... I look like a clown in this pix... Semuanya salah lampu, tak salah lampu, salah kamera... Bukan salah aku...

Kegilaan bukan saja melanda aku... Ni Mr. Eddie of Low Frequency masa dah abis function... Takpo, diam2 dia teringin nak pakai aloha skirt tali rafia berwarna-warni... Malam ni baru dapat pakai... Kegembiraan jelas terpampang diwajahnya... Muahaha... Lingkups!

Blurry... Insert Title Here

Mad! Miss U like gila bebeh... Hehehe...

Was sitting on the floor, doing nothing. Just sit there and stare at open space listening to Nelly Furtados' acoustic version of Try.

Then the phone rang... Mad called. She added some sunshine to my otherwise sombre day.
Anyway, yesterday was great. Could've been better, but there's no need to be selfish and greedy.
Even if nothing happens in our lives in one day, we just need to be thankful, at least we are alive today. The car could just swerved from a cliff and nose-dive onto jagged rock. Exploding into a million pieces. The aquarium filter might just break a cable while you're rearranging your aquascape. The stranger you brought back home might just strangle you with your own blanket or you could just slipped in the bath and break your neck.

So many ways to die alone.

Well anyway, it's good to be alive today.

Feels like sharing some pix of what happened yesterday.

The Andaman - Arabian Night (First Night!) Later got another one. Hot and "Hap-penin" meeting @ 3 pm, shopping baju punjabi right after, go get dolled-up, rush to Berjaya Resort, berpoya-poya some where later. Live fast, die young, leave behind a good looking corpse.

Note: FYI, there another beautiful pix of yours truly and Ms. Jessica Gasper.... But for reasons unknown, I cant bluetooth the pix into my computer... Maybe it's because of the extreme sexyness of Ms. Jessie, maybe it's becos of the size of the pix (I repeat, it's her opss, I mean the pixs' size... Muahaha)

I'm a bad-ass transformer (bj-view, BJ= Blow-job view la) Muahaha... From this...

To this...

To this... (Makhluk Tuhan yang used to be Sexy)

Me and Ms. "Helen"

Me and Ms. Nana

Me and Akak Iz

Me doing what I do best... Playing with Fire (I want one of these for my friggin birthday!) Dont play2, I tgh seru semangat tu... Heeee...

Me and my old friend Mr. (Chuck) Noris. Ngeee... I used to be his size lo... Please Note muka tepung gomak... I was beautified by DNE Boutique.

Last night some crazy dude in black soccer shorts, black t-shirts and boots and caps went on a crazy rampage in Cenang... It's was crazy but fun.

Unsafe fun I might add.

Hey, remember the motto- My Car, my dick, my life, my business?

A picture is worth a thousand words...

I feel so empty. I used to feel so complete when I have my baby with me. Now I feel so hollow. On the outside I'm still me, but it's a different story altogether inside.

It's like being pulled to different directions all at once. I want my baby back. My baby can be sweet. That's what i like about my baby. My baby can be mean, that- I dont like at all.

It's hard to be in love with someone who can love you and hurt you at the same time.

If my baby comes back, I think I'd want us to be happy. Both of us. At the same time.

We'd be more sensitive to each others' feelings. We'd pay more attention to all those little things that we do.

Perhaps more tolerant to each persons' flaws.

And maybe, just maybe if my baby comes back into my life. I'd want us to be more open in public. Nomore secrecy-secrecy thingy.

And maybe we can be less moody and egoistic towards one another. Instead of competing on how great we are in our lives, maybe we can be like complementing each other. I'll be your king and my baby will be my queen. Maybe we'd start treating one another as one.

I sent my baby an sms. I wish all of my babys' wishes will come true and I mean it. Today is my babys' birthday. I missed my baby so much. Unbelievably, I got a reply. So I guess, with so many things in my mind, most of them about my baby, I think I should just type a small part of if here and hope that tonight I can go to bed without losing my mind because I am here and my baby is miles away celebrating a special day. So here goes.

I have so many things that I wanted so bad to say to you. I'm eager to have you back, but I'm affraid. So afraid that I will hurt you again, losing and I'm afraid you'd hurt me just like last time.

You see, sometimes when everything was good, it was really good.

I'd look forward to come back home from work, just to see your face when you opened the door for me.

Remember when you got sick and you got me so worried for days. I had to feed you chicken soup.

Every morning, I'd love to see your face, you'd just sit on the couch, or if my stuffs were all on the couch, you'd lay on the floor with the old blanket, you'd look so blurry and sweet, while I prepared breakfast.

That's the only time that we didn't fight in the kitchen. Twice we tried preparing lunch at home, and both times we ended up screaming to one another. We'd get so mad, that we'd not talk for days.

But most of the time, one of us would take the effort to make peace.

Why didn't we this time?

I dont know.

Anyway, you might or might not read this.

It's the little things that I dream about, that no one ever talks about. the little things I think about, that no one ever dreams about. The kisses, the promises, the whispers and the plans.

As I said, I hope all your wishes will come true. I wish that I could be there to celebrate this special day with you like we've no, I mean you've planned, but I'm sure you know what happened so I can't. I feel bad about it. I really do. I dont know what else to say. Maybe I'll just say "happy birthday".

Just another story... Same like last time.

Let me tell you something about love, my friend.

Love has a verocious appetite.

It just eat up everything. Families, friends, co-workers, enemies.

Everything and everyone.

If you just feed it right, it will grow into something beautiful, over-feed it and it will grow fat and ugly. Fat and ugly.

And if you starve it enough, it will shrivel, bend over and die.

Last year, a few weeks after today... I was happy.

I was in love.

Now I'm just a demented, sexually-frustrated, person. Not even a person, I dont feel like one anymore.

I guess I should stop typing now...

Pix.

Me trying to forget.

Me with beautiful people. Beautiful people are so vain. Trust me. I know. I've been attached to one for almost 1 year.

Me preparing for The Andamans' Arabian Night. It's on the 11th and 12 June. Perfect timing. That was supposed to be the day My baby and I to be somewhere far away. Celebrating. Just the two of us.

Another one of me looking so not like myself.

Another one.

Me at work.
Looking happy although I dont feel happy. I dont feel much these days. Just wanna stay at home. In the dark, in my room.

I wore this to work. It reminds me of a story about 3 beavers...

little girl walks in on her mom in the shower ands asks, "Mommy mommy, what’s that?"

Her mom replied, "That’s my beaver."

Next day the little girl walked in on her grandmother taking a shower and asked, "Grandma grandma, what’s that?"

Her grandmother replied, "That’s my beaver."

Third day the little girl walks in on her mother taking a shower and asks her, "Mommy mommy, what’s that?"

Her mother replied, "That’s my beaver."

The little girl stated to her mother that grandma’s beaver must be dead cause it’s tongue is hanging out.

Keeping Myself Busy Just to Forget...

Langkawi Geopark Carnival 2008- Telematch @ CHOGM Park.

The Action.

I wanted to snap a pix of the blade, but this boy was posing as if I wanted to snap his pix... Perasan aaa lu Aizaat!

Kid sleeping.

Another one of Aizaat. Posing ala2 comel konon.

Abis! Buat masa ni la... Manyak lagi gambo yang tak transfer masuk PC. Nanti la aku uploadkan.

Gambo hari ke 8. Muka kena tinggal kekasih... padan muka lu! I mean gua...

Me ngan image EMO... Wakaka... Emo takde... Emosional... Maybe...

Day 5 in Hell, Been Here, Done This Before

I've been busy or am I? Just keeping myself busy nowdays.

5 days. 5 fookin days.

I think this is how the story ends... A few weeks short of hitting the one year mark, my baby and I went our own ways.

I'm now just like myself last year. In pain. But this is the pain is more intense not because I never experienced break-ups before. It's more intense because it's happening now. And last year I was happier than this.

Life's a vicious cycle. First life's a bitch and then when you survived, people tend to call you one.



And this too shall pass.

No matter how attractive we are. How rich we are. How good in bed we are, we all lose our charms in the end.

Nobody knows

Love is a drug.

That's what people say. So like drugs, one should've kept away from it.

But there are times when curiousity becomes unbearable.

Just just lose your head and wonder how would it feels like to have someone as your lover... Is he/she any good in bed? Is he/she confirm to your own idea of the perfect lover?

So you took the next step and go into it. The power of the mind. You just imagine something and just imagine it often enough, it might just come true.

It is when you're at the end of it that you really start to think about the beginning.

It's sad.

It's painful.

But this isn't about me.

Not about me at all as I am living someone elses' life. The real me is tucked away somewhere safe. I am hiding. They'll never find me. Never.

It was painful, now that it all ended, the pain is still here.

So let's skip about the boring prelude and go straight to the point.

I know you're reading this...

I saw you in the morning while I was getting dressed earlier today. You were smiling when I first saw you back then but now you look so unhappy.

It felt bad causing you this pain. But if it's painful for you you can only imagine how much pain I've endured. But it's OK. I was willing to be your doormat at that time.

It's strange how a wonderful story that started so good could end so bad like this.

But love is out of the question. It's not love when we're like sharing a knife that we cannot see and taking turns stabbing one another until one of of bleed to death.

Maybe this separation will do us some good. Maybe we both could finally be happy at the same time now even though we're not together anymore.

I hope one day when all the pain is over, maybe we could be friends. Maybe.

So I guess it's too late to say what I really wanted to say to you, but I know that you'll know what I wanted to say because I've said it so many times. Those words that you've never said to me.

I'll say it once more and this time I mean it.

Now you know.

Goodbye love.

Echo...

... The mind is like a dark lab filled with many many fragile glass containers filled to the brim with dangerous liquid substance, balanced on their own weight on a plank, hidden in someones' basement...

Madness... Madness All Around

Argh... I am so tensed... Honey... Bla bla bla...

Yeah... I am so tensed... So much pent-up supressed dsires longing to be fulfilled... Sebagai contoh... Uh... Better censor it down to keep it as safe for work as possible... Anyway... today passed not as I expected (I expected it to end with a disaster but nothing happened... it's not as bad as I imagined...).

So next time you decides to panic... Panic in minimal amount only... Never ever panic more than the recommended the daily panic dose...

Like on the radio... I never entertain song requests. Never... Tho the stations' tagline is yes! it's for you... It's more like yes... it's for the dj.... punya pasal abah aku ler nak cakap apa pun... :P

Sikalang ni... dalam busy2 pakcik pun... pakcik tetap ada masa untuk belajo photoshop...

Anyway... by popular request.... Act'ly it's just Ms. Sufina who requested this... I'm uploading some of her pix here... Kesian dia... dia skang orang kurang upaya aka OKU... (pasang lagu tema piena sambil upload gambo... Lagu warga tua...) wakakaka...

Gambo original... Tak lawa langsung...

Epek (effect) ni namanya "Bloom"...

Bak kata omputih... "the bunga is blooming" maksudnya "flower tu tengah kembang"... Sikalang gambo Cik Piena dah lawa... Kalo potong semua background... boh background itam.... Leh jadik poster one night only in Arena of Stars... Wow... She's glowing!

Cantik giler hasil kerja tangan pakcik yang berbakat ni... Bila tgk gambo ni... Instead of lagu "warga tua" I terbayang lagu "makhluk tuhan paling sexy"... Tapi itu tetap lagu tema pakcik... orang lain jangan gatai ngaku lagu itu lagu tema... Hehehe...

Hidup inikan macam roda? Ok la... Kadang2 atas... kadang2 bawah... Kadang2 kita melawakan.... dan pastinya... kadang2 kita memperdajalkan... wakaka.... Ini plaks epek yang dipanggil "liquify" yang selalu digunapakai oleh tmnet lam printed add depa...

Gambo 2 budak cacat yang belum diper"epek"kan.

Wakakakakaka... Gambo 2 budak cacat yang hodoh lagi spastik posing ala2 terliur tengok cicak lepak kat siling... Kah kah kah... Ok... Tabley buat manyak2 kang kilat sambaq... dah la aku dok kat tingkat 6 ni...

Happy or Unhappy... Is It That Important

I've been busy. With so many things to say but no time to write... Just a photo that I snapped. It's a beautiful place where I am now. The sky is light, the ground is dark. That is where I am. Somewhere dark.

Things that strikes my fancy... Among many other things, Wacom Tablet...

I cant really remember what started this obsession, but i think it has got something to do with the youtube video... Yes... Youtube is evil! NEway, I've started this project a few days back... Am trying to paint using photoshop... It's a work of art in progress (heh.. aren't they all?)

Initial Sketch... A

B

C

D

F

G

H

I... Hehehe... Just kidding... This is the original pix la... Kalo I can paint until like this... Kaya lo I... I'll paint nudie pix of people... Realistic fake nudie pix of beautiful people... And I'll sell them for a gadzillion of ringgit.. I'd be rich then I'll donate some of my money... Maybe 5 hinggit to this, another 5 hinggit to that... Then I'd buy myself a piece of land and build a house surrounded by lake. Hmmm...

I just put this together... I know it's a galaxy away from a realistic rendition of the pix... I ngantuk... Nanti I sambung mewacom-tabletkan file psd ini... :P

BRB... Not ASAP but Will BRB

M so vry d bsy nwdys. NEway, me b8ng a prt-tm wrkr mns X wrk X $. BRB ltr.