Nobody knows

Love is a drug.

That's what people say. So like drugs, one should've kept away from it.

But there are times when curiousity becomes unbearable.

Just just lose your head and wonder how would it feels like to have someone as your lover... Is he/she any good in bed? Is he/she confirm to your own idea of the perfect lover?

So you took the next step and go into it. The power of the mind. You just imagine something and just imagine it often enough, it might just come true.

It is when you're at the end of it that you really start to think about the beginning.

It's sad.

It's painful.

But this isn't about me.

Not about me at all as I am living someone elses' life. The real me is tucked away somewhere safe. I am hiding. They'll never find me. Never.

It was painful, now that it all ended, the pain is still here.

So let's skip about the boring prelude and go straight to the point.

I know you're reading this...

I saw you in the morning while I was getting dressed earlier today. You were smiling when I first saw you back then but now you look so unhappy.

It felt bad causing you this pain. But if it's painful for you you can only imagine how much pain I've endured. But it's OK. I was willing to be your doormat at that time.

It's strange how a wonderful story that started so good could end so bad like this.

But love is out of the question. It's not love when we're like sharing a knife that we cannot see and taking turns stabbing one another until one of of bleed to death.

Maybe this separation will do us some good. Maybe we both could finally be happy at the same time now even though we're not together anymore.

I hope one day when all the pain is over, maybe we could be friends. Maybe.

So I guess it's too late to say what I really wanted to say to you, but I know that you'll know what I wanted to say because I've said it so many times. Those words that you've never said to me.

I'll say it once more and this time I mean it.

Now you know.

Goodbye love.