Someone told me not to expect anything from everything. This was years ago... That same person also said to me, when you're up there, you need to look down once in a while, to see familiar faces just in case things fucked up and you ended up with them at the bottom.
I remembered that person for this.
So today started as usual. Not really. I woke up and the first thing I did was smile at the mirror. It smiled back. Then I went about my usual morning routine. Then I went out on a date... Not really a date... Just an outing with some new friend. Expected nothing from this date. At the end... I think I had a great time. We talk and talk and talk and for a moment there seems to be a spark. But that was my ciggy spark la... Burned the back of my palm badly... But that's OK, burn mark heals, heartbreak heals, betrayal will be a lesson learned and and in time will be forgiven.
Let's just simply put it as WE both had a great time. Yeah. That's a good change for me. I've been depressed long enough. It's time to move on. Now is always a good time. Shouldn't have wasted months waiting and waiting but in the end...
So this is about me at the moment.
Every time a relationship ended, I said to myself, that I'd never make the same mistake again. But instead, I ended up making new ones. I've dated the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time. I rejected someone with all the wrong reasons. I treated people badly and was treated badly. So I experienced both ends. I have nothing to complain about.
I love my life.
If I can turn back time, I'd say I'd make all the same mistakes again, but only sooner.
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Hehehe... Could be too much sugar during "dim sum"ing with M.
No.... Not that M!!!! Kah kah kah...
I silicon-coated my hair today. Paid almost a hundred for a slight sheen on ones' hair is not what I'd usually do... But I wanted to be "pampered" today. This was after yours truly and Dato Ranjit had a great laugh with the boys (future pilots) from batch 13.
Then I got home and took a shower, and sang to myself in the shower. I miss that someone who loves to sing in my shower. It's funny how fast bad memories tend to disappear in time, now I'm left with the sweet memories when we were together. How I fell for this person. The long car drive to no where. The song requests by me for this person to sing. The singing. The morning cuddle. Watching movies. The stupid dance we used to do. I guess that was the first time I really fell in love. As I said, all that's left was the memory of once upon a time this person and that person were attached. A memory. Painful and sweet at the same time.
Dah dah... kang jadik novel plaks... I'm going to bed with a smile tonight. Later i want to wake up and smile at the mirror again.
Tamparuli Bridge (Tuaran, Sabah)
11 years ago
1 comment:
oklah tue bro..senyum selalu hehehe
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