Tak mandi. Gosok gigi pun tidak. Pakai selipar jamban. No underwear. 7 in the morning, half-way to the summit of Gunung Raya. On the 9th day of Aidilfitri.
Nothing to do.
Bored. Lonely. Bored.
Too much pent-up frustration.
Posing with my car, unwashed since my birthday. That'll be since July. Caught on phone camera propped on road divider.
In the midst of my mental restlesness, I chopped off my hair a week short of it's third year... Still feel a stab of regret.
Earlier today, after work, I pierced both of my earlobes. I thought it would calm the urge but the urge is still here. What am I to do? I'm in my self-destructive phase.
This relationship between me and A happens because of mishaps...
One after another, we grew closer and closer.
Now I think it's time to move on to the next phase. Maybe whatever that we have now will grow into something more... Maybe it'll cool down and melt and seeps through the holes in our lives...
Maybe.
I'm beyond that "What If" phase. Now it's "If I Let Go Of This, Will It Still Be There?" phase.
Things changes. From good to bad to good and back. Nothing into something, then maybe into something else.
My birthday wish has come true.
So now what?
So now I'm going to sit back and wait and see and maybe I'll risk losing A. I think if you love someone, you should let him or her free.
Song of the moment (although this one's a wee bit old, it has been with me since late 90s)
Wah... It's been like ages since I posted anything readable. What to do? Been busy. Going to be busier still.
I've endured. I've resisted. I've suffered and enjoyed and suffered and enjoyed. I've ignored, paid attention and back again.
So hari Raya is just around the corner. It's a very small corner after all. I remembered filling up the leave form in April me thinks. Then I remembered cancelling my leave as i dont feel like facing my parents. I mean I love my parents but the M-issue will just get in the way and spoil everything. So I guess it's safer to stay away for a while. A while= almost a year liao. Sighs.
Love life wise... It's getting better. It all started so sweet, then turned sour, now I guess we've both adjusted. Still need lots of improvement tho. But we're getting there. Enough said. I'll keep my love life details as a private matter from now on.
Work wise... I am so tired. Physically and mentally.
Day-to-day-life-wise... I am busy taking care of things and people. The closest to becoming a single parent myself. I do it but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
There's a saying that goes... It doesn't matter if you win or loose... The person who said that, probably lost. Ehehehehe...
