Why Do All Good Things Comes to an End

I had a wonderful dream once. But I woke up and now the dream had died.

For People Who Never Meant What They Say...

I tried making it work. I guess things just wont work.

So bad things happens...

You're sorry, I'm sorry too.

Well, not yet, but you will be.

Something's Missing

Fiction

I left the safety of my house, moving away, just to escape the pain. For a while, I was free. Free from the pain, free from the worries.

Then I got bored, said stupid things, did stupid things.

I promised myself I'd never do the same mistake again. I didn't, I found new mistakes to make.

Fiction.

My horoscope for September 24, 2007

Don't think about things from a political angle -- just listen to your intuition.

Even if bills or other small tasks are pressing, try to direct your energy toward big-picture stuff today. Not only is it more appealing to you, it's also got more good energy helping you push.


My horoscope for September 25, 2007

Plans are shifting -- but don't waste your good energy trying to figure out why.

You are in a more thoughtful mood today and may want to take a chunk of time off from your daily routines to consider your top-level goals and philosophy -- at work, at home or in your life as a whole.

Note to self:

There's a lyric of a song that goes "Why's your life seems so bad, when you're so damn smart?"

I thought I'd share this with you.

What's an Unhealthy Relationship?

A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behavior.

Some people live in homes with parents who fight a lot or even abuse each other - emotionally or physically.

For people who have grown up around this kind of behavior it can almost seem normal or OK.

It's not! We learn from watching and imitating the people close to us. So someone who has lived around violent or disrespectful behavior may not have learned how to treat others with kindness and respect or how to expect the same treatment.

Qualities like kindness and respect are an absolute requirement for a healthy relationship.

When these qualities do not exist it is likely that your relationship is unhealthy.

It's not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behavior of any kind

Warning Signs of a Unhealthy Relationship

Here's some scary news:

In one survey, 20% of American girls reported having been hit, slapped, or forced into sexual activity by their boyfriends.

And 40% of all teens said they know someone at school who experienced dating violence.

So if you think there's no way it could happen to you or someone you know, think again.

Know the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Does my boyfriend or girlfriend get angry when I don't drop everything for him or her?

Does my boyfriend or girlfriend make fun of the way I dress and tell me I'd never be able to find anyone else who would date me?

Does my boyfriend or girlfriend keep me from seeing my friends or from talking to other guys or girls?

Does my boyfriend or girlfriend want me to stop playing on my sports team, even though he or she knows I love it?

Does my boyfriend or girlfriend ever raise his or her hand or act like he or she is about to hit me?

Does he or she try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

If you can think of any way in which your partner is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or - this is a big one - harm you physically or sexually, then it's time to get out, fast.

Let a trusted adult know what's going on, and make sure you're safe from this person.

It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence as an expression of love.

But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy.

No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything they don't want to do.


Why Are Some Relationships So Difficult?

Ever heard about how it's hard for someone to love you when you don't love yourself?

It's a big relationship roadblock when one or both people struggle with self-esteem problems.

Your girlfriend or boyfriend isn't there to make you feel good about yourself if you can't do that on your own.

Focus on being happy with yourself, and don't take on the responsibility of worrying about someone else's happiness.

What if you feel that your girlfriend or boyfriend needs too much from you? If the relationship feels like a burden or a drag instead of a joy, it may be time to think about whether it's a healthy relationship match for you.

Someone who's not happy or secure may have trouble being a healthy relationship partner.

Relationships if healthy can be one of the best - and most challenging - parts of your world.

They can be full of fun, romance, excitement, intense feelings, and occasional heartache, too.

Whether you're single or in a relationship, remember it's good to be choosy about who you get close to.

And if you're already part of a pair, make sure the relationship you're in brings out the best in both of you.

The Concept of Marriage (That I Cant Grasp)

So here I am... at 3.20 in the wee hours... Not sleeping tho I am working later at noon... Thinking about stuff. What kind of stuff? Well marriage for one. Yeap.. Marriage... I am thinking about... Mmmm... Marriage... Scary stuff...

Reality check here... My mom's been nagging me to say yes to... Mmmm... Marriage... Of all the females... To my best friends' younger sister... I've known her and her family very well. I know his brother very very well. His family is like my own. So imagine that. Maybe for some people, it's OK, it'll make the whole M thing easier. No hassle. But imagine knowing a girl and seeing her since she was small. You know... Little girl... When she was small... eeee...

Anyway putting her and her family aside. I never understand the concept of marriage. First and foremost... It's about sharing. Sharing everything. The money, time, space, the bed, bathroom, livingroom, car, every-fooking-thing. I can never do that. I need my space. No, I jealously guard my space. Entry passes given for a limited time only.

Some people say that when one is truly in love, one will learn to share.

I am in love at the moment. The most intense love I've ever experienced in my whole adult life...

The main reason it still last past 7 working days is that we both needed our own space.

Being in love at the moment is like pleasure-pain-pleasure-pain thing. It's good when it's good. It sucks when things go bad. In between of course there's the suspicion of both sides, wondering where's the other person and doing what, with whom? Faithful or unfaithful. Should I go and check? If I go check then it's confirmed I kena kencing? So better not check. If you seek, you find, then you tension... Kan? Play safe. Better dont check.

Then of course there's the putting up with one anothers' flaws. People say that you like people because of your similarities, but you love people because of your difference, that makes you both complement one another. Friction. I think it was I who said that. People in love are always inclined to say and do stupid things.

Back to the M-matter... I am in love. I am so in love. With someone. But am not ready to do it. Hmmm... I cant imagine myself as a husband/a father.

Let's think about it.

Husband+Wife=Kids. Lemme rephrase that... Fertile Husband+Fertile Wife+doing the do=Kid(s). I never like kids. Lemme rephrase that too. I hate kids. They're loud, they smells and they cries, loud! I used to say I can't mate in captivity. Now I'd rather not mate at all. But who will take care of poor old me when I'm old? Imagine being old and broke... Who will take care of the poor old me? Maybe it's time to register for organ donation. But I'll keep my lungs when I'm dead. My heart too. They can have everything else. I wonder if they'll accept a living donor? Just gas me unconcious and hack me to pieces and bury the remain. Easier typed than done.

I dont like other peoples' kids. I cant imagine myself liking my own.

Ok... Maybe it's too early to think about children. Back a few steps for a bit. Marriage. It's such a life-long commitment. Most of my friends are married, with kids. Most of them are not happy. Some are happy. Outside. Enough said.

Ok. I tortured myself enough thinking about this subject. I'm going to bed.

Kesimpulannya: Kesimpulannya masih bersimpul.

Feelin Great vs Feeling Crappy

Fiction.

So this is a difficult relationship...

I need security and the other person wants freedom.

So what's next, we both need to go down halfway and meet somewhere in the middle.

No?

Ok, you just stay where you are and I'll go down a couple of notches below my standard(s) and meet you there? No?

Then maybe, if you could just tell me what exactly that you want...

No? Yes?

Anybody ever wondered what is it that I want? No body asked, so nobody wants to know.

But that's not important.What i want isn't important. To you. To them. To everybody.

I was told, if you don't do something with your life, you'd die for nothing. Do things, you'd die anyway. Everybody dies. You, me, everybody. We're all dying. We're doing it now. So do it matter?

Life's like a flight of stairs. Going up going down. Jumping off is optional. Skipping a few steps is optional too. Falling down and breaking your nose is optional too. One dont have to do it if one didn't want to.


I mean you feed what you want to survive and starve what you want to kill. So what if it's like the other way around? Impossible? No. Just difficult. Understandable but confusing? Right.

This isn't about me.

It's about the moonlight shining on drops of dew on a leaf tip, somewhere dark.

Fiction.

The irony of it all is... No matter how low you're feeling, It can be fun looking down at people... I am going too deep... Enough already...



So am I being cruel? I dont think so... Fook what everybody else thinks... They don't give me money.


My horoscope says... September 21, 2007

Today's events might catch you a bit off guard, but you can regain balance easily.

Especially when you're on the job, you find that you have a hard time keeping up appearances. You may need to take a half-day, or find some new and clever way to show the public your best face.


September 22, 2007

Keeping more of your money is something you're close to figuring out how to do.

Your emotional nature may get the better of you at some point today, but others may not even notice! They all seem a little robotic -- which may be part of the problem -- and are just going about their business.

Me goin extra Ga Ga nowdays

My horoscope today says September 19, 2007


Your flirty side may not feel like coming out today, but others are flirting away!


While everything seems to be fine on the surface, you may need to work on some personal issue that has been nagging at you lately. You've certainly got the right mindset for it now, so take all the time you need!

Bad Moment OST


The Words


Honestly what will become of me

don't like reality

It's way too clear to me

But really life is daily

We are what we don't see

Missed everything daydreaming



[Chorus:]

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to end?

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to an end?



Traveling I only stop at exits

Wondering if I'll stay

Young and restless

Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies

The pain sets it and I don't cry

I only feel gravity and I wonder why



Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to end?

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to an end?



Well the dogs were whistling a new tune

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could

Dogs were whistling a new tune

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could

Die die die die die



Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to end?

come to an end come to an

Why do all good things come to an end?



Well the dogs were barking at a new moon

Whistling a new tune

Hoping it would come soon

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away

And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and

the rain forgot how to bring salvation

the dogs were barking at the new moon

Whistling a new tune

Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.





Note to self: Aiya! Am not depressed, am not depressed... Am not... Who am I kidding? Self empowerment only works with school students...

But this time am not depressed with depressing matters. It's about dealing with absence. It's about how the heart grows fonder when the other person is not there, it makes one wanna fondles something... Astaga! Posa la... Ish...

Speaking of puasa... After almost a week of posa, I dono la... I mean I posa, it's cool to posa and go to work... But since my schedule is like rongak (1 day working, 1 day off, 1 day working, 1 day off, 1 day working, 2 days off- that's rongak) I find myself getting bored when I'm at home.

Raided the fridge today and found (GASPS!) an unopened packets of condoms in my fridge... Lakhabau sungguh, I know who put it there, not telling, but it was like ages since this crazy dude visited me in Langkawi. Patut la time nak blah dulu beriya-iya salam mintak ampun... Swinging Bowl sungguh... Hampehs. Sabo je la...

You see la, with these kind of people as my friend... No wonder I dont have much friends...

Unopened packets of condoms aside, the content of the fridge was like surprising, I went like... Hmmm... peanuts... now when did I bought those? (Toss into the black garbage bag) Pistachioes... Hmmm didn't remember buying them (Toss into the black garbage bag), achovies... how did these get here (Toss into the black garbage bag)... Lemons... Ni sapa plak beli ni? (Toss into the black garbage bag)... Errr, what is this? (Toss into the black garbage bag)... So in the end, I got an almost empty fridge and 1 bulging black garbage bag...

By the way, I paid my car insurrance already, I'm yet to pay for the house rental and the tipon bills and tenet bills... Almost broke... Adula...

Okla... Imsak finish already, wanna go to bed... Later kerja plak... Huargh!

Before I go back to bed and god knows when I'll have the time and interest to update this blog thingy, I'd love to dedicate this raya song to...

Cehs...

Anyway, it's just something that came up in my mind at the moment, I post it here so it wont kaco me in real life... We can't stay together, yet we can't be apart... That's painful, that's sweet, well, errr... mostly painful, but sweet...

Hehehe... Ala2 BDSM plak my relationship.

Puasa... Hmmm...

Argh.... I've got the flu.... This usually happens during ramadhan.

I'm in desperate need of some tender loving care...

Fell in love, but now not so sure if it's love... I mean like the saying goes... Lust can be sated... But love lingers on... Maybe it's lust... On a higher dose.

Next time when you make a wish, becareful of what you wished for because it might just come true but not the way you want it to be...

Enough said...

Anyway... Bad Moment OST for the moment...




Wild World- Mr. Big

La...la...la...la...la

Now that I've lost everything to you

You say you want to start something new

And it's breaking my heart you're leaving

Baby I'm grieving


And if you wanna leave take good care

Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear

A lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile

(yeah...) oh baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child girl

You know I've seen a lot of

What the world can do

And it's breaking my heart in two

Coz I never want to see you sad girl

Don't be a bad girl

But if you wanna leave take good care

Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there

Just remember there's

A lot of bad and beware

La...la...la...la...la...baby I love you.

I'm-trying-to-cheer-myself-up Song

Ghita- Cleopatra Stratan....



Uwaaaaaa.... It's not working.... I'm going to bed...

A Merajuk Session Went Wrong

A problem that seems like so unsolvable, suddenly became a joke.

Had 2 days of hell, gave someone hell when this person was trying to make things right again...

Went home after a fooked up session, before going back, did a medley of malays-broken-hearts-you-dont-love-me-i'm-gonna-kill-myself songs and then picked up Kak CT from work Sent her home and went to pick up A. I didn't say anything when there's alot on my mind to be said. None good. So I guess it was OK to diam only.

Anyway, less than half an hour and I felt this big pang of guilt. So I picked up the phone and called A. We drove to THE PLACE and talked about it. Just talk. One person facing east, one facing west. Then I don't know what happened but we both ended up laughing.

Then we watched that Priscilla: The Adventure of theDesert Queen. Typical, halfway and a tummyache, which I think is not real. Blueks... Pandai la u belakon...

When things goes bad, I'd often ask myself "Is It Worth It?", come times like this, I'd probably say "Yes, it is worth it". So guys and gals, if you think you've found the one, or the other one, whatever tickles your fancy, whatever floats your boat, hang on to him or her, let go at least once, then go back and think about it. ARE YOU READY FOR IT? IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, MAYBE WHEN THE TIME COMES, AND YOU'RE READY, MAYBE THE OTHER PERSON WONT BE THERE ANYMORE. Sometimes, jumping into the unknown is the best way to go.

So back to the fight scene... The rest is history. I'm not single anymore. Again. Maybe next week I'll be single... Again... a yo-yo relationship. with lots and lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, but the ups are worth waiting for...

Anyway this one's from my conty that I did a few days back... It doesn't mean anything now but I guess, if it helped me, it might be useful to others...

If you find yourself singing this song....



Just remember the other person might be singing this song back at you....



There's always an answer for every question, usually more than one, it's up to us to pick the best, but sometimes, what's best for us is not what we want and sometimes, what we want isn't the best for us. Pandai la cakap...

Cloves as Pain-Killer

My Horoscope says September 07, 2007

Changing your job is fine, but don't assume the new one will be bigger and better. (Yeap, as I always think... making assumuption is making an ass-u-me which translates into making an ass for you and me)

Treat yourself to something nice -- you definitely deserve it! The day's energy might wear on you a bit, so it could be nice to just take a break on your own, though you may want much, much more! (Later I'll take my sleeping pills and crawl under my blankies and stay there until tomorrow)


MyFriends' Horoscope says September 07, 2007

When an intellectual member of the opposite sex puts you on the spot, rise above it!

Be careful with your little jokes, especially this afternoon -- people are far more literal-minded than you may realize! It shouldn't get you in trouble, but it might earn you more than a few funny looks. (You're in trouble, I'm in trouble, we're both in trouble, though not everybody heals as fast as you)

Note to self:
Somebody I know once said to me, if you want to be sure it is love that you think you've found, let it go and if it comes back, then it is love after all, but if you keep letting it go and pushing it away, one day, you'll wake up and love might not be there anymore.

When a wonderful relationship turns sour, start calling it a relationshit for a while... Then flush.

Bad Moment OST for the Moment - Live to Tell by Madonna




And the lyric



I have a tale to tell

Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well

I was not ready for the fall

Too blind to see the writing on the wall



Chorus:



A man can tell a thousand lies

I've learned my lesson well

Hope I live to tell

The secret I have learned, 'till then

It will burn inside of me



I know where beauty lives

I've seen it once, I know the warm she gives

The light that you could never see

It shines inside, you can't take that from me



(chorus)



2nd Chorus:



The truth is never far behind

You kept it hidden well

If I live to tell

The secret I knew then

Will I ever have the chance again



If I ran away, I'd never have the strength

To go very far

How would they hear the beating of my heart

Will it grow cold

The secret that I hide, will I grow old

How will they hear

When will they learn

How will they know



(chorus)

(2nd chorus)

A stupid question...

Earlier today, well, my day went as usual... Maybe exciting for some people... But for me it's boring with a capital B. I went to send Kak CT to work, stay at home and didn't do anything at all. Called A, but as usual... short conversation.

Went out makan with Ms. Sufina and Ms. Mirinda. Went to Pantai Cenang to buy some secondhand books with Ms. Mirinda- The title of one of the book she bought was wonderful- The Adultery Club. How sweet.

Came home, called A, again... The conversation was cut short, a few text messages and we ended up fighting... Again... Hmm...

Now I'm in a Is-It-Worth-It-Phase.

Anyway, somewhere in between I was asked by someone who shall never be named- You , know you're going to die right? (Nods) Everybody dies, so what is it that you want to tell the world, your public statement, your excuse, whatever you want to call it, for the live/your time here?

So as I was doing everything I listed as what I did today, my brain was working extra hard to come up with an answer to that question...

"I was born, I grew up, I hated, I loved, I was hated, I was loved, I lived and so I died. I have nothing profound to teach the world."

There... I think that sums up everything for now...

As for the matter of the heart... hmmm... I'm going to bed.

From 5 July-Today

Yes, from July 5 to the present day.

First cute dumb sms sent. Been high up and low low down. So today, I've made a decission to sit back and enjoy the roller coaster emotional ride. We never actually did go where we planned to go the first place. But we did go to other places and I think if it ends now, I still got more than what I hoped for. A birthday wish, never spoken but it came true anyway.

As for my personal life at the moment, well, car insurrance went Altantuya already, but I'm driving Mr. Hazanis' car. Still broke broke. Planned to call my dad for logistic help but my sister beat me to it. How did I know? Well, she have the courtesy and called me to tell me about it. Hmmm...

Puasa is just around the corner and I never liked puasa and Raya. It's like you're supposed to go back and spend time with your family but then you dont feel like going back and that makes you feel shitty. You wonder what's wrong with yourself.



And today, to celebrate my 2nd month of being both exhilerated and numb emotionally, simultaenously, I wore the Shrek Headband to work. I put it on as I was walking out of the car, parked at the usual parking space, of course, walked inside the office building and walk through the office, while smiling and greeting my office mates. I worked my whole 3 hours wearing that head band and passed it to Ms. Sufina where she wore it, hopefully throughout her 3 hours... So it's Be Silly/be Shrek day/Be Both Silly and Shrek-ky-ish today...

No use typing long-long... A pix is worth a thousand words... Saves me 2000 words just by posting these 2 pix here...







My horoscope today says September 05, 2007

After many new beginnings recently, you can expect a few terminations right now.

Are you waiting for a sign before moving on with the next phase of your life (or, on a smaller scale, some new project)? You've definitely got the energy to go for it right now, sign or no sign.

Just for Entertainment

Love the music, love the image... Love em all...

And to qoute someone prominent in carnivorous plants in Malaysia, though I had to tweak a little bit of his words- Carnivorous plants- Unique plants for unique individuals...

That sorta kinda make me feels special...

And knowing myself... I just had to spend hours and hours sifting through links and samples looking for the untitled song... FOUND IT! Muahahaha....

Another Night Alone...

This feels so not good. Hmmm... First visiting friends, now not feeling so well, what's next?

*Hentak2 kepala kat dinding...

Adei...

There's a saying that I made up... And it goes something like this- Sell a man a fish, he'll eat it for a day (assuming he's not like me, cos I dont frigging eat a frigging fish), teach a man how to fish, a wonderful business opportunity will be ruined.

A Story Worth RM80 Plus a Good Depression

I've been idle lately. Remembering what I did, what I should've done.

I remembered stuff. Stuff that I forgotten. Though I wasn't really trying. But I guess as the tide of time and space ebbs and flows, situation changes, it just kinda slipped from my mind.

I remembered that day, when I packed whatever stuff I owned at that time, destroyed everything else, put the RM80 (the money that I had at that time) into my pocket and left for Penang.

That night, things happened. I remembered way way back before that night I said to someone that it'll never happened again. It did. So I lied.

I wished I could stay, but then again, it was a hard time. Crushed from top, below, front, back, side to side, all around. If I stayed, there's a good chance that I wont be alive today. I'm glad I stayed away. But I kept on thinking, if I stayed, where would life take me?

I changed my name, I changed my looks so many times, inventing make-belief facade with a hope that it'll change my perspective towards life. I guess that doesn't work.

Somehow, no matter how I act, who I become, it always goes back to where I'm trying hard to avoid going to. Which is here and now.

From island to island. Crowded places, isolated places, being good, being bad, being very good and being very bad, I'll always be me. A person only I know. If I were to describe myself as I know myself today, I'd say- Someone very much like the moon. It changes it's shape, yet, it stays the same.

Some people just grow up and be what they're supposed to be. I'm still searching for who I am. Still looking for the person I'm supposed to be. Some people say that i should have a plan for my life. I do. I'm still planning for a plan.

How do I describe the feeling of blood rushing to the head, when waking up to be someone else. But the memories that came with the many different names is overwhelming. Now I'm running out of space in my head.

So as I was saying, the day after that night in Penang, my friend left me by the road side, somewhere secluded. I wanted it to be that way. I just wanted to be by the sea.

There and then, it occured to me, my circle of friends at that time were like dinosaurs at the end of the Cretaceous, I'm one of the last. Some of us got drunk while driving, got into an accident, end up dead. Some took a bold step for wrong reasons and took their own life, one got murdered, quite a few disappeared to some distant land never to be seen again, some got married, some married and divorced and I am here. Going places, ruining someone else's life. Mostly mine.

I remembered, the text messages I sent on the ferry. I remembered the moment I stepped out of the ferry, the strap on my bag just broke off. I remembered the two cans of Zapple I bought, drank 1 and still have the other one with me right now. I remembered that long wait at the jetty. I remembered very well the break-ups, meeting new people, being used and abused. Using and abusing people. Saying things that I really meant. False hopes and empty promises.

Would you risk a gallon of bile for a teaspoon of honey? It could be worth it but I was cheated, it was not real honey at all that was offered, but the bile was real enough.

I burned every single thing I wrote back then. I just don't want to remember them and I don't want to be reminded of them. But still from time to time, some of it came back to haunt me.

Someone asked... Are you sure about this? To which the reply was... I don't know, but if I don't do it, I'll never find out- said a fictional character, trying hard to be real.

Damn Holiday Season and Nosy New Neighbor

Damn tourist season.

That means no going out other than to do pressing stuffs. No makan luar (makan as in makan with the mouth ya... Not talking bout sex, which is good). No hanging out. No driving around aimlessly at night (and again, not looking for sex as some people might think). No parking space. No cars available for rental (I usually rent a car when I dont want people to know where I'm going, my own car is too easily recognized) and above all and most importantly, No seeing A.

Isk! No all of the above especially the last one= No FUN!

Me and A in the Light and Cool mode now. No meeting, minimal sms, no phone calls. Hmmm... Celebrating Merdeka separately. We both have our own set of friends. So now I feel like climbing the wall.

No meeting- No merengek-merengek.

It's funny. I mean like seeing someone for months and not feeling anything and then WHAM! KA POW! CRASH! BOOM! BANG! You're accidentally in love.

Hmpfh! Love is not blind. Love is organised random affair.

Not so. Being somewhere, wearing the right baju, right haircut, right background music, right temperature, right background music, right moment, makes it happen. It's like many many things working together and suddenly you have love. Scary!

Road tax & car insurrance going Altantuya on September 3. Worked like crazy these past months but payment not coming in yet! All three jobs, not even one payment coming in yet.

Siao. shud've whored myself when there are people interested. Heheheh... Yeah right...

You know, when you're staying alone in an apartment and your unit not facing anybody, life can be great in the nude. Yeap. Free Willy Everyday. I know it's like out of place in the modern world and stuff but you should get to know who's your neighbor. Like who just moved in, who's living with who, etc. We're just being neighborly. It's neighborly love.

BUT, poking your head across the dividing wall of the balcony is not one of them. You know when you go to a nudie beach, you can look, but not below the waist. Enjoy the balcony view but don't over-step the boundaries. Your neighbor might be sleeping naked in the living room with the sliding door open.

Anyway, that's what happened earlier today. The guy got an eyeful. I'll consider it as charity.

I never been to a nudie beach. I'm more of a nudie at home kind of guy. Kah kah kah....


My horoscope says for September 01, 2007

Want a deep relationship with someone you socialize with? Start a deep conversation. (I am so not having a deep conversation with any of my friends.... Eeeee.... Imagine hugging any one of my friends with loving intentions... It'll be so very the incest!)

You're at your best with fairly large groups of people right now, so see if you can find a way to insert yourself into the middle of it all. At work it might be a lot easier than you would think.


My friends horoscope for September 01, 2007

Talking is just talking -- if you want to overcome the obstacles, get moving today!

You're letting people see a little bit more of you -- and they like what they see! It could be that you're a bit more impressive than you have been letting on and now's as good a time as any to show off.