Cannot Decide Which Color! Help!

Original Color- Blue

First Choice: Dark Canvas Green

Second Choice: Burning Gray Black

Third Choice : Somewhere between first choice and second choice...

Just stop everything and think about it...

The question popped out unexpectedly...

"What is it that you want to change?"

Raising my cup half-way and bending my neck down to meet it, I was caught off guard.

Errr... What is it that I want to change?

A long pause.

Well, everything. I guess. If possible.

I knew that at that time I didn't sound convincing enough, but hell, when someone asked you these deep, probing questions over a drink, over what can be considered a first date, you'll start thinking about what kind of question this person will ask you after a few months of living together.

It's been 5 months now. Five very long months. Five very lonely months. Readjusting myself. Been through hell. But it's ok. You can say the same about me.

me going gaga like mad....

In the midst of... Then I... Then he... Then we.... Then after that... Then I... But he was... So I thought... Then he decided to... I dont think that was a good idea... Then we tried.... But in the end it didn't work out for both of us... So I....

Pix!

Tiring Time is Back... Yay!!!

I'm a Dodge Viper! (Sorry I Killed James Dean...)

You're all about raw power. You're tough, you're loud, and you don't take crap from anyone. Leave finesse to the other cars, the ones eating your dust.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

9634644 people have taken the Which Sports Car Are You? (Version 2.0) personality test

Here are the results so far:

Ferrari 360: 899413 (9%)

Lamborghini Murcielago: 641433 (7%)

Mazda Miata: 600812 (6%)

Honda S2000: 230674 (2%)

Dodge Viper: 517845 (5%)

Chevrolet Corvette: 2590211 (27%)

Porsche 911: 1404739 (15%)

Mazda RX-8: 609757 (6%)

Porsche Boxster: 132976 (1%)

Audi TT: 212226 (2%)

Mercedes SLK: 407715 (4%)

Ford Mustang: 898157 (9%)

Lotus Elise: 235107 (2%)

Nissan 350Z: 253579 (3%)

Yesterday...

Someone told me not to expect anything from everything. This was years ago... That same person also said to me, when you're up there, you need to look down once in a while, to see familiar faces just in case things fucked up and you ended up with them at the bottom.

I remembered that person for this.

So today started as usual. Not really. I woke up and the first thing I did was smile at the mirror. It smiled back. Then I went about my usual morning routine. Then I went out on a date... Not really a date... Just an outing with some new friend. Expected nothing from this date. At the end... I think I had a great time. We talk and talk and talk and for a moment there seems to be a spark. But that was my ciggy spark la... Burned the back of my palm badly... But that's OK, burn mark heals, heartbreak heals, betrayal will be a lesson learned and and in time will be forgiven.

Let's just simply put it as WE both had a great time. Yeah. That's a good change for me. I've been depressed long enough. It's time to move on. Now is always a good time. Shouldn't have wasted months waiting and waiting but in the end...

So this is about me at the moment.

Every time a relationship ended, I said to myself, that I'd never make the same mistake again. But instead, I ended up making new ones. I've dated the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time. I rejected someone with all the wrong reasons. I treated people badly and was treated badly. So I experienced both ends. I have nothing to complain about.

I love my life.

If I can turn back time, I'd say I'd make all the same mistakes again, but only sooner.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Hehehe... Could be too much sugar during "dim sum"ing with M.

No.... Not that M!!!! Kah kah kah...

I silicon-coated my hair today. Paid almost a hundred for a slight sheen on ones' hair is not what I'd usually do... But I wanted to be "pampered" today. This was after yours truly and Dato Ranjit had a great laugh with the boys (future pilots) from batch 13.

Then I got home and took a shower, and sang to myself in the shower. I miss that someone who loves to sing in my shower. It's funny how fast bad memories tend to disappear in time, now I'm left with the sweet memories when we were together. How I fell for this person. The long car drive to no where. The song requests by me for this person to sing. The singing. The morning cuddle. Watching movies. The stupid dance we used to do. I guess that was the first time I really fell in love. As I said, all that's left was the memory of once upon a time this person and that person were attached. A memory. Painful and sweet at the same time.

Dah dah... kang jadik novel plaks... I'm going to bed with a smile tonight. Later i want to wake up and smile at the mirror again.

Just Passing Through... Through Everything...

Bored! Bored from the start until now.

Did laundry, half way. Masak makan, makan half-way, nak mandi, pakai towell, jalan half-way gi bilik mandi, cancelled last minute. Nak mancuh Neskopi, oso half-way, takat boil the water jek. Tengok DVD Casino Royale, half-way dvd shilaker itu stuck plaks...

Isk... I don't like being tensed without any apparent reason.

Mencix10.

Post raya anxiety.

Tomorrow got rehearsal at Bella Vista. Saturday got HMA Graduation. Then got konti after that. Pakcik penat! Pakcik broke! Pakcik tension!

Lepas ni nak clear peti ais yang sarat terlebih muatan itu... Sure buat half-way jugak.

My life sucks... Well NOT Really...

I got bored today. Slept at almost four... Woke up twelve hours later feeling dumb... Ngeee... I dressed up in my dark brown baju melayu but cannot find my dark brown sampin... So i went to the office sans sampin... Bumbung keta kena slash... Again... Dealt with the problem with a tube of superglue...

OK la... Nak kuar gi amek mak angkat...

Btw... Brown baju melayu, dark brown sandals and I brought choc cake to the office... To complete the look... No need to explain... PIX...

The head alone costs RM110... It's expensive nowdays to stay cute... Lucky for people who are born cute... If you're not born with it... Fake it...

Britney Spears' Oops I Did It Again Feels Eerily So True...

Selamat Hari Raya to all... (Sigh of relief here)

Nomore, staying up all night for sahur (yay!), No more cold shower in the middle of the night (yay yay!)... No more cooking for berbuka puasa (errr... Ok la). No more doing the dishes (YAHOO!!!)

Somebody made a (shocking, really shocking, as in shocked till almost dropped the phone shocking) declaration tonight...

(Sighs) How do one have a fling or some innocent fun without making people without love getting in the way???

I mean like, it's normal for people to go out on a date. That means you feel comfortable enough to be seen in public with that person.

It's normal to chat about things, it's called getting to know one another.

Then if the other person doesn't say much, one need to ask questions right?

How do you think a guy should act "friendly" without sending out the wrong message?

The date went so so so wonderfully... Until some one fell in love... (SMACK LOUDLY ON THE FOREHEAD)...

It's called courtesy questions or to put it bluntly, it's like "OK-I'm-Tired-Of-Talking-About-Myself-Now-It's-Your-Turn" kind of thing.

Then if one managed to get lucky on the first date... That doesn't mean the scary "C" word right? In case u're wondering... The scary "C" word is commitment.

It's almost the same every fookin time. It started as a fling, at least for yours truly, then the other person wanted more.

And most of the time this old fool will agree and finally, innocently fell in love...

That's when things usually turned bad...

I dont want another heartbreak this year. I'm still recovering from the last one (NO, not the one where I was rejected by someone, that never HAPPENED, I only date someone within the same age group and recently, I prefer someone younger... The younger... The better!!! I hope I'm making myself very, very, very clear now. Thank you).

So the question is... I forgot the question liao...

I always reminded myself to remember the line "nice to see, nice to hold, once broken considered sold"- I paid a lot and still paying for it at the moment...

So let's just skip the relationship and tell me, how much do I have to pay?

If I ask you will you sleep with someone handsome and rich for a million ringgit, usually the answer is "Well, maybe, err... Yes la kot..."

Then the next question is - Will you sleep with an average guy for ten ringgit? Then the answer will usually be "Hell no!!! What do you think I am????"- I think we've settled on the matter, now we're negotiating the price...

I am so not going out on a date again!!!