Arghhh... Pressure is Building

Been busy. Even when I'm not busy, I like to think that I am busy.

11 more days to go.

Am trying hard to pull my life back together before I lose something else.

As my last post went ... My life is breaking apart and so is everything else in it...

Hair falling like mad, 2 aquarium leaked, spanish moss torn to shreds by damn birds, phone busted, pc kong, some fish died unexpectedly, Sunday session kena tarik balik (given away, must be because of "that" incident- Moral of the story, dont kick the shit bucket unless you fancy some on you) bloddy house in a mess- all within this month.

Swell.

Anyway, I almost said no to Hot and Happening.

I dont feel like doing it although I could use the money. Better say no, thatn forcing myself doing things I dont enjoy doing. LTAC people keeps on calling (after they've exhausted all other options, me thinks). Dono lah... Malas nak pikir.

Song for the moment- Simple Plan: Your Love is a Lie.



Words-

I fall asleep by the telephone
It’s two o’clock and I’m waiting up alone
Tell me, where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss but it just don’t feel the same
Cause I can feel that you’re gone

I can’t bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories, but don’t take me for a fool

You can tell me that there’s nobody else (but I feel it)
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself (but I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want,
but I know,
I knowYour love is just a lie

It’s nothing but a lie
You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah, you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you
And do you think about me when he f**ks you?

Could you be more obscene?
So don’t try to say you’re sorry, or try to make it right
And don’t waste your breath because it’s too late, it’s too late
You can tell me that there’s nobody else
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know

Your love is just a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)It’s nothing but a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)
You’re nothing but a lie

Same Ol Same Ol

What I did today...

I woke up late. Can't remember about the night before. It was all a blur. Some things we rather not remember. As I was saying, woke up late. It was a cold cold day. If I am married... Sure 9 months from now I'll be a proud father. Hehehe...

Woke up naked and lepak2 at my lush, green balcony wrapped in my blankie. Life's good. But then those darn birds curik my spanish moss to build their nest. Kurang hajar punya burung. Dah la tumpang umah aku buat sarang atas pokok aku tak bayar... Pokok aku pun dia sapu buat sarang. Sial tol. Tapi takpe. Burung2 tu dah kena evicted. Skali ngan jiran2 dia aku halau (yeap, i got like 3 pairs making nests among my plants, but 1 pair tu yang sial, lantak la, aku halau semua).

Sambil2 cucuk balik spanish moss kat netting dia, nostalgia la plaks, sebab dolu2 waktu aku pasang spanish moss tu, my baby yang tolong pegang netting (lap air mata japs).

Lepas tu... sambil minum neskopi, aku yang masih blur ni mengheret akuarium2 aku yang tersadai tu dan beberapa jam selepas itu, siap 2 bijik akuarium. Cuma masalahnya aku takde filter pump sebab soket elektrik sial kat dapur aku tu telah menghancur 3-4 buah pam aku.

Then aku gi opis.

Kacau orang, annoyed by orang, usik Nurul sampai kuar suara tak ayu dia, gedik2 as usual aku kat opis. Ms. Helenz went on air. Alone. Aku gi monitor je walau orang tak suruh aku gi. Punya pasal aku la... Kang dorang complain pasal aku tak bagi komitmen plaks.

Buat skrip.

Buat gangguan seksual pada Encik Khairun.

Then aku balik. Balik2 je, aku sambung proses membaikpulih akuarium yang 2 bijik tu. Aku ubah ikan2 kecik yang aku ada masuk 1 akuarium, yang beso2 sket tu esok aku ubah plaks masuk lam akuarium yang satu lagi. Lepas tu nak kena halo2 tokey kedai akuarium kat Kuah tu soh mai umah tolong gam balik akuarium beso aku yang leak tuh...

Tadi aku... Takyah la aku share benda2 yang tak patut share. Aku ske orange juice. Itu je yang aku nak share.

Aku ngantuk. Nak tido dah. Esok ntah apa plaks nak jadik kat aku ni... Lusa aku bagitau. Cakap pasal lusa, 26 hb cukup setahun aku ngan dia kawan. 26 hb jugak, cukup sebulan kami tak jumpa. Sedih gak kena tinggal camtu je. Aku rasa, kalo ambik pisau, toreh2 isi sendiri tak sakit camni. Aku tau, sebab aku penah buat. All the sacrifices, all the time spent... Nothing.

Takpe la.

Life is all play.

You can be who ever you want to be and twist life into what you want it to be.

BUT...

It's difficult being alone.

It's good to find someone.

It's great to have someone that you like consenting to... Ahem...

It's good to have someone to come home to...

It's hard adjusting to living together...

It's really hard adjusting to someone who can be one person and suddenly change to someone else...

It's sad to come home and seeing that it's empty and that now you're back to being alone.

My world is falling apart and so is everything in it.

One is such a lonely number.

Mind Fart!

Love is like...

Those darn birds... Cute but annoying.

If they kacau my spanish moss again... I'll kill them. I mean it. Just net them up at night and swat them with a piece of board. Use them as my plants' fertilizer.

I hate this life

I am bored. I am broke. I am in pain. I am in pain.

So I went back (not really) to SP. Took the 2.30 pm ferry and arrive @ Kola Kedah at about 4pm. Mr. Mizon was late as usual. Terpaksa la aku posing ala2 tourist yang tour agentnya tak sampai kat situ. Arrived in SP at about 6pm and straight away went shopping for aquarium fish like crazy.

Le Nongs' fish shop is now my new favorite kedai ikan! Dang! So many fish that I only dream about was on sale. Leopard Ctenopoma (RM8), Apollo Shark (RM8), Cardinal Tetra (RM4), Glass Catfish (RM4), 2' Aba Aba (RM600), 1'++ True Alligator Gar (RM55- I placed a deposit for both!) and the most unforgetable huge double-tail goldfish (I'm not a sucker for goldfish, they're so girly, but these were the size of a small melon!) and many many more!

So all in all I bought:

1. Cherry Barb (5pc)
2. White Cloud Mountain Minnow (5pc)
3. Blue Tetra (5pc)
4. Penguin Tetra (5pc)
5. Jumbo Neon Tetra (5pc)
6. Rummy-Nosed Tetra (5pc)
7. Upside-Down Catfish (Bought 3 but 2 DOA- Dead on Arrival la)
8. Apollo Shark (Bought 2, both arrived alive but 1 got gobbled up by my Anguilla Anguilla)
9. Chinese Algae Eater "Loach" (Bought 3- Original Wild, Orange and White)

In case people are wondering how big is my aquarium, it's huge! 5'x2.5'x2.5'.

My community tank includes the ones that I just bought (list up there except for Apollo Shark) these species

1. Tiger Barb (Mossy Green, Orange and Wild type)
2. Rosy Barb
3. Zebra Danio (TK2 and Wild)
4. Giant Danio
5. Harlequin Rasbora
6. Red-Tailed Tetra
7. Red-Eyed Tetra
8. Black Petticoat Tetra
9. Black Neon Tetra
10. Sarpae Tetra
11. Corydoras (Aeneus, Albino Aeneus, Panda)
12. Black Ghost Knifefish
13. Freshwater Goby
14. Shistura sp. (Caught this in Lubuk Semilang)
15. Shrimp (Dono what species)
16. Betta (those hillstream kind- wild caught, cant remember the name la)
17. Silver Dollar.

Note: If you're wondering what the hell are these fish I'm keeping... Google it! I listed the most popular common name. It should be very easy to find.

And the best thing that happened. My community aquarium leaked! Hampes! Tapi takpe, when life throws you lemon, you make lemonade. It's about time for me to recreate/reuse the unused aquariums lying around my crib.

Am working on the 4'x1'x1' aquarium (hopeless- cannot lift up as the glass is very thin, got compact sand at the bottom, very dirty, but I put water to cycle in it anyway).

I have two 2'x1.5'x1.5' is cleaned, managed to clean only 1 for the time being, the other 1 got water, heavy la! Maybe I'll use these for breeding something.

Then there's the hexagonal aquarium. I want to use that to keep something elegant. Maybe the alligator gar will be housed there before it grows to half of its' full potential size (5'-10')

Hehehe.

My meals nearly entirely consists of yogurt, orange juice, 1 hot meal and coffee. Hair dropping like mad (arghhhh tension!). Sakit perut non-stop (arggghhh... Tension jugak!). Work pressure (both part time and outside jobs sucks! I hate my jobs but I love the money, but they always pay late!) Umah berselerak (kemas la sikit dari dulu). Bored to death. Dont wanna stay at home, dont wanna go out. Dont know what I want.

Ok. Time for me to get back being crazy...

Love is like...

__________________________ A blank space.

Up to you to fill in the blanks.

Nomore Mind Puke... It's Mind Fart of the Day

Love is like...

A very expensive dinner. If could be good, it could be bad but in the end, you have to pay for it.

Mind Puke of the Day... Again...

Love is like...

The air... It's no big deal unless you're not getting any...

Too much air is no good as well, you'll end up passing gas non-stop...

Mind Puke of the Day

Love is like...

Buasir... It's a lot of unnecessary pain in places you can't really see unless you squat and use a mirror.

I think. I Do. Simple and Easy.

These are my favorite makan item. Orange juice, yogurt, cough drops and ciggy. Not fogetting, lots and lots of plain water. I lupa satu agi... Black coffee tanpa sugar... 10 more kgs to go. Sial tol. 10 very degil kilos.

My World... Falling Apart.

First my heart was cracked into pieces.

Then my car top slashed.

Now my community aquarium cracked and leaking stinking aquarium water all over the floor.

I just cleaned the fucking house for fucking hours. Great, just great.

If all this shitty shit continues, I'm gonna kills myself. Preferably in some extremely painful way.

Am being over-dramatic, but seriously, everything is shitty.

Changing My Tunes. Different Yet Still The Same.

I was so like I dunno...

Am feeling confused. Should I call my baby asking for one last dinner together? I mean it'd be something. Today is supposed to be our 11th month together. I'm here, my baby's somewhere around here, I think.

So today started like, should I call? Will I get an answer? Will I be distrubing something? Will I make matter worse? Ai...

So I think to myself... The worst thing that can happen has already happened... So I call. I got an answer, my baby said, call back tomorrow. Hmmm... It's a conundrum... Should I call?

The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It On a Dime)

I’m not one for love songs.
The way I’m living makes you feel like giving up
But you don’t,
And I want everything for you.

My disappointment
‘Cause you’ve been left behind
And the world has its shine,
I would drop it on a dime for you.

(Hey oh!)
And whatever it takes.
(Hey oh!)
I’m gonna make my way home.
(Hey oh!)
We can turn our backs on the past
And start over…

Not long ago
I gave up hope,
But you came along
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know.

Before I met you
I used to dream you up and make you up in my mind (up in my mind)
Woah-oh.
And all I ever wanted
Was to be understood.
You’ve been the only one who could.
I could never turn my back on you.

(Hey oh!)
And whatever it takes.
(Hey oh!)
I’m gonna make my way home.
(Hey oh!)
We can turn our backs on the past
And start over…

Not long ago (not long ago)
I gave up hope, (I gave up hope)
But you came along (you came along)
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know (more than you could ever know.)
More than you could ever know.
It’s you.

Not long ago
I gave up hope,
But you came along.
Gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
(Yeah!)
Not long ago (not long ago)
I gave up hope, (I gave up hope)
But you came along (you came along)
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know.

Something Different

Tanda Ajal 40 HARI

TANDA 40 HARI

Tanda ini juga akan berlaku sesudah waktu Asar. Bahagian pusat kita akan berdenyut-denyut. Pada ketika ini daun yang tertulis nama kita akan gugur dari pokok yang letaknya di atas Arash Allah SWT.

Maka Malaikat Maut akan mengambil daun tersebut dan mula membuat persediaannya ke atas kita, antaranya ialah ia akan mula mengikuti kita sepanjang masa.

Akan terjadi Malaikat Maut ini akan memperlihatkan wajahnya sekilas lalu dan jika ini terjadi, mereka yang terpilih ini akan merasakan seakan-akan bingung seketika.

Adapun Malaikat Maut ini wujudnya cuma seorang tetapi kuasanya untuk mencabut nyawa adalah bersamaan dengan jumlah nyawa yang akan dicabutnya.


TANDA 7 HARI

Adapun tanda ini akan diberikan hanya kepada mereka yang diuji dengan musibah kesakitan di mana orang sakit yang tidak makan secara tiba-tiba ianya berselera untuk makan.


TANDA 3 HARI

Pada ketika ini akan terasa denyutan di bahagian tengah dahi kita iaitu diantara dahi kanan dan kiri. Jika tanda ini dapat dikesan maka berpuasalah kita selepas itu supaya perut kita tidak mengandungi banyak najis dan ini akan memudahkan urusan orang yang akan memandikan kita nanti.

Ketika ini juga mata hitam kita tidak akan bersinar lagi dan bagi orang yang sakit hidungnya akan perlahan-lahan jatuh dan ini dapat dikesan jika kita melihatnya dari bahagian sisi.

Telinganya akan layu dimana bahagian hujungnya akan beransur-ansur masuk ke dalam.

Telapak kakinya yang terlunjur akan perlahan-lahan jatuh ke depan dan sukar ditegakkan.


TANDA 1 HARI

Akan berlaku sesudah waktu Asar di mana kita akan merasakan satu denyutan di sebelah belakang iaitu di kawasan ubun-ubun di mana ini menandakan kita tidak akan sempat untuk menemui waktu Asar keesokan harinya.


TANDA AKHIR

Akan berlaku keadaan di mana kita akan merasakan satu keadaan sejuk di bahagian pusat dan ianya akan turun ke pinggang dan seterusnya akan naik ke bahagian halkum.

Ketika ini hendaklah kita terus mengucap kalimah syahadah dan berdiam diri dan menantikan kedatangan malaikatmaut untuk menjemput kita kembali kepada Allah SWT yang telah menghidupkan kita dan sekarang akan mematikan pula.

Sesungguhnya mengingati mati itu adalah bijak...

Sleeping Sickness...

Aku mengantuk. That's all I can say.

Kat tempat keja- Mengantuk.

Kat umah- Mengantuk.

Tgh bawak keta- Mengantuk. Speaking of my car, DFR kena slash bumbung... Sial tol, pasal duit syiling kurang RM20 aku kena beli bumbung baru. Kopak!

Dalam toilet tgh buang air besar- Mengantuk.

Atas tilam waktu malam - Mengantuk.

Atas tilam waktu pagi - Mengantuk jugak!

Pendek kata, aku ni ngantuk memanjang, dono why. Tido tak cukup kadang2 (2-3 jam semalam) tido kadang2 terlebey hamat (record baru 19 jam sehari- ala2 beruang koala dan panda).

Anyway hari ni nothing special happened, yes, I know every day is special but nothing worth sharing in here. I raided Ms. Halina "Helen's" Twitter Page... Amek gambo aku lam tu... Muahaha...

Rasa cam nak kuar umah, tapi malas, sebab aku mengantuk.

(Music saspen) Ntah2 aku kena penyakit ni...

Sleeping sickness or human African trypanosomiasis is a parasitic disease of people and animals, caused by protozoa of species Trypanosoma brucei and transmitted by the tsetse fly (ada ka menatang ni kat Langkawi?).

The disease is endemic in certain regions of Sub-Saharan Africa, covering about 36 countries and 60 million people. It is estimated that 50,000 to 70,000 people are currently infected, the number having declined somewhat in recent years.

Three major epidemics have occurred in recent history, one lasting from 1896–1906 and the other two in 1920 and 1970. In 2008 there was an epidemic in Uganda.

Symptoms begin with fever, headaches, and joint pains. As the parasites enter through both the blood and lymph systems, lymph nodes often swell up to tremendous sizes.

Winterbottom's sign, the telltale swollen lymph nodes along the back of the neck may appear.

If untreated, the disease slowly overcomes the defenses of the infected person, and symptoms spread to include anemia, endocrine, cardiac, and kidney diseases and disorders.

The disease then enters a neurological phase when the parasite passes through the blood-brain barrier.

The symptoms of the second phase give the disease its name; besides confusion and reduced coordination, the sleep cycle is disturbed with bouts of fatigue punctuated with manic periods progressing to daytime slumber and nighttime insomnia. Without treatment, the disease is fatal, with progressive mental deterioration leading to coma and death.

Damage caused in the neurological phase can be irreversible. If untreated, the disease kills 100% of its victims.

In addition to the bite of the tsetse fly, the disease is contractible in the following ways:

Mother to child infection: the trypanosome can cross the placenta and infect the fetus, causing perinatal death.

Laboratories: accidental infections, for example, through the handling of blood of an infected person and organ transplantation, although this is uncommon.

Blood transfusion (Rasanya dak sebab aku takut jarum)

Sexual contact (ni yang aku suke nih...)

Yo-o-o je... Dah aku malas dah nak taip... AKU MENGANTUK!

Pix...

Aku ske I-Phone Ms. Halina sebab aku nampak ensem (bagi aku la) bila amek gambo pakai henpon dia!

Cam anak pakistan siot... Ade orang cakap... Adek Sheikh Muszaffar Shukor- Sheikh Lisham Shukor? Ya... Rite... Ngan Ms. Jessica Gasper...

Aku tgh ngantuk kat opis sebelum masuk keja. Sempat lagi posing ala2 berbau lucah kat tangga.

Ni takde kena mengena, aku rasa boring dok umah, cam ni la perasaan aku skang.

Menguap Panjang...

Damn tired!

Meeting went well, but I think my job during Hot and Ha-pening! is going to be a wee bit memeningkan as Ms. Sufina aka Kak Piena can't join us (us=me + Awoosh la) to MC the thing. Got another offer from Ms. Suzie. Now that I'm available, I'm gonna earn some money and work myself to death.

Antara benda menarik yang jadi kat aku hari ni...

1. Aku pakai Baju Punjabi dengan Vest ngan Tarbus.

2. Aku dimake-upkan ala2 Tutankhamun (betul ke ejaan aku ni? Rasa cam was2 plaks)

3. Makanan aku hari ni cuma sepotong oren, dua-tiga suap kek coklat, 2 botol orange juice ngan sac (sac aaa bukan sex... lain tu), 2 mug neskopi... Tu je.

4. Aku menari ngan Head of Department Hotel, walaupun kemahiran menari aku kokak, tapi aku hentam je, gabungan Coco jumbo, lambada, macarena, shuffle2 sket dan strip tease, semua aku belasah je... Menari sampai lupa diri pakai baju punjabi ngan tarbus... Hehehe... Tu pun ada gak orang nak menari ngan aku... Takpe, janji aku yakin dan percaya kepada diri sendiri... Tabah dan berani lagi...

Got banyak lagi to share but too tired tonight. Pix.

Me and my personal make-up artiste Ms. Gina (tu nama die after 8pm until sunrise, after sunrise-before 8pm nama dia Mr. Adi) konon la... as if I so kaya to hired my personal make-up artiste kan? Dia ni terer wooo makeup2 ni... Dia keja kat DNE Boutique.

Last touch-up sebelum aku terus ke Gedix Mode lam toilet Berjaya Beach Resort.

Aku memperplayboykan kepala DJ Nana. Ms. Helen in the background co-ordinates everything. Lighting kurang menarik menyebabkan aku ada iras Syad Anas, korang tak kenal ke Syed Anas? Boy George Malaysia tu.

Syed Anas pun tetap laku dikalangan gadis wooo... siap kena serbu orang ajak nak tangkap gambar lagi. Ni Me ngan Ms. Dwi lagi.

Ni me ngan Ms. Jessica. Seriously... I look like a clown in this pix... Semuanya salah lampu, tak salah lampu, salah kamera... Bukan salah aku...

Kegilaan bukan saja melanda aku... Ni Mr. Eddie of Low Frequency masa dah abis function... Takpo, diam2 dia teringin nak pakai aloha skirt tali rafia berwarna-warni... Malam ni baru dapat pakai... Kegembiraan jelas terpampang diwajahnya... Muahaha... Lingkups!

Blurry... Insert Title Here

Mad! Miss U like gila bebeh... Hehehe...

Was sitting on the floor, doing nothing. Just sit there and stare at open space listening to Nelly Furtados' acoustic version of Try.

Then the phone rang... Mad called. She added some sunshine to my otherwise sombre day.
Anyway, yesterday was great. Could've been better, but there's no need to be selfish and greedy.
Even if nothing happens in our lives in one day, we just need to be thankful, at least we are alive today. The car could just swerved from a cliff and nose-dive onto jagged rock. Exploding into a million pieces. The aquarium filter might just break a cable while you're rearranging your aquascape. The stranger you brought back home might just strangle you with your own blanket or you could just slipped in the bath and break your neck.

So many ways to die alone.

Well anyway, it's good to be alive today.

Feels like sharing some pix of what happened yesterday.

The Andaman - Arabian Night (First Night!) Later got another one. Hot and "Hap-penin" meeting @ 3 pm, shopping baju punjabi right after, go get dolled-up, rush to Berjaya Resort, berpoya-poya some where later. Live fast, die young, leave behind a good looking corpse.

Note: FYI, there another beautiful pix of yours truly and Ms. Jessica Gasper.... But for reasons unknown, I cant bluetooth the pix into my computer... Maybe it's because of the extreme sexyness of Ms. Jessie, maybe it's becos of the size of the pix (I repeat, it's her opss, I mean the pixs' size... Muahaha)

I'm a bad-ass transformer (bj-view, BJ= Blow-job view la) Muahaha... From this...

To this...

To this... (Makhluk Tuhan yang used to be Sexy)

Me and Ms. "Helen"

Me and Ms. Nana

Me and Akak Iz

Me doing what I do best... Playing with Fire (I want one of these for my friggin birthday!) Dont play2, I tgh seru semangat tu... Heeee...

Me and my old friend Mr. (Chuck) Noris. Ngeee... I used to be his size lo... Please Note muka tepung gomak... I was beautified by DNE Boutique.

Last night some crazy dude in black soccer shorts, black t-shirts and boots and caps went on a crazy rampage in Cenang... It's was crazy but fun.

Unsafe fun I might add.

Hey, remember the motto- My Car, my dick, my life, my business?

A picture is worth a thousand words...

I feel so empty. I used to feel so complete when I have my baby with me. Now I feel so hollow. On the outside I'm still me, but it's a different story altogether inside.

It's like being pulled to different directions all at once. I want my baby back. My baby can be sweet. That's what i like about my baby. My baby can be mean, that- I dont like at all.

It's hard to be in love with someone who can love you and hurt you at the same time.

If my baby comes back, I think I'd want us to be happy. Both of us. At the same time.

We'd be more sensitive to each others' feelings. We'd pay more attention to all those little things that we do.

Perhaps more tolerant to each persons' flaws.

And maybe, just maybe if my baby comes back into my life. I'd want us to be more open in public. Nomore secrecy-secrecy thingy.

And maybe we can be less moody and egoistic towards one another. Instead of competing on how great we are in our lives, maybe we can be like complementing each other. I'll be your king and my baby will be my queen. Maybe we'd start treating one another as one.

I sent my baby an sms. I wish all of my babys' wishes will come true and I mean it. Today is my babys' birthday. I missed my baby so much. Unbelievably, I got a reply. So I guess, with so many things in my mind, most of them about my baby, I think I should just type a small part of if here and hope that tonight I can go to bed without losing my mind because I am here and my baby is miles away celebrating a special day. So here goes.

I have so many things that I wanted so bad to say to you. I'm eager to have you back, but I'm affraid. So afraid that I will hurt you again, losing and I'm afraid you'd hurt me just like last time.

You see, sometimes when everything was good, it was really good.

I'd look forward to come back home from work, just to see your face when you opened the door for me.

Remember when you got sick and you got me so worried for days. I had to feed you chicken soup.

Every morning, I'd love to see your face, you'd just sit on the couch, or if my stuffs were all on the couch, you'd lay on the floor with the old blanket, you'd look so blurry and sweet, while I prepared breakfast.

That's the only time that we didn't fight in the kitchen. Twice we tried preparing lunch at home, and both times we ended up screaming to one another. We'd get so mad, that we'd not talk for days.

But most of the time, one of us would take the effort to make peace.

Why didn't we this time?

I dont know.

Anyway, you might or might not read this.

It's the little things that I dream about, that no one ever talks about. the little things I think about, that no one ever dreams about. The kisses, the promises, the whispers and the plans.

As I said, I hope all your wishes will come true. I wish that I could be there to celebrate this special day with you like we've no, I mean you've planned, but I'm sure you know what happened so I can't. I feel bad about it. I really do. I dont know what else to say. Maybe I'll just say "happy birthday".

Just another story... Same like last time.

Let me tell you something about love, my friend.

Love has a verocious appetite.

It just eat up everything. Families, friends, co-workers, enemies.

Everything and everyone.

If you just feed it right, it will grow into something beautiful, over-feed it and it will grow fat and ugly. Fat and ugly.

And if you starve it enough, it will shrivel, bend over and die.

Last year, a few weeks after today... I was happy.

I was in love.

Now I'm just a demented, sexually-frustrated, person. Not even a person, I dont feel like one anymore.

I guess I should stop typing now...

Pix.

Me trying to forget.

Me with beautiful people. Beautiful people are so vain. Trust me. I know. I've been attached to one for almost 1 year.

Me preparing for The Andamans' Arabian Night. It's on the 11th and 12 June. Perfect timing. That was supposed to be the day My baby and I to be somewhere far away. Celebrating. Just the two of us.

Another one of me looking so not like myself.

Another one.

Me at work.
Looking happy although I dont feel happy. I dont feel much these days. Just wanna stay at home. In the dark, in my room.

I wore this to work. It reminds me of a story about 3 beavers...

little girl walks in on her mom in the shower ands asks, "Mommy mommy, what’s that?"

Her mom replied, "That’s my beaver."

Next day the little girl walked in on her grandmother taking a shower and asked, "Grandma grandma, what’s that?"

Her grandmother replied, "That’s my beaver."

Third day the little girl walks in on her mother taking a shower and asks her, "Mommy mommy, what’s that?"

Her mother replied, "That’s my beaver."

The little girl stated to her mother that grandma’s beaver must be dead cause it’s tongue is hanging out.

Keeping Myself Busy Just to Forget...

Langkawi Geopark Carnival 2008- Telematch @ CHOGM Park.

The Action.

I wanted to snap a pix of the blade, but this boy was posing as if I wanted to snap his pix... Perasan aaa lu Aizaat!

Kid sleeping.

Another one of Aizaat. Posing ala2 comel konon.

Abis! Buat masa ni la... Manyak lagi gambo yang tak transfer masuk PC. Nanti la aku uploadkan.

Gambo hari ke 8. Muka kena tinggal kekasih... padan muka lu! I mean gua...

Me ngan image EMO... Wakaka... Emo takde... Emosional... Maybe...